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01-30-2007, 01:43 AM
ok, I'm writting a novel called Fallen and I thought I'd put the prologe up to see what you guys think...If your lucky, I might put up more...
Fallen Dark was the day, though the sun was suppose to shine and snow was expected to be glistening on the cold ground. But no, the sky was a dark grey, crying unfrozen tears. And instead of a comforting cold, it was an icy cold that made one shiver uncontrolably. Even the smell of the usually pleasent falling rain had an uncalming and aweful stench. Inside a small one story house, candels burned of maulberry while Christmas dinner was slowly cooking in the oven. A little girl sat in the lonely living room. Though she smiled, her blue eyes carried a hurt and sadness to great for the little girl to remember herself. She was so small and precious. The black hair that sat softly upon her head gently brushed her shoulders. The little girl twiddled her thumbs as her hands rested upon he black dress. "Come on, darling, it is time for dinner." said the little girl's mother. She approached the child and took her hand, bringing her to the dining room. "Bless us our lord, for these, our gifts, which we are about to recieve, from thy bounty, through Christ, our lord, Amen." repeated a young boy. After the family ate, they began their after dinner disscussion, when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." said a woman. It was the little girl's aunt. She watched as her aunt walked to the door and opened it. A shot was heard throughout the house, followe by the screams of the family scattering. The little girl sat at the dinner table, tears filling her eyes and flowing down her cheeks as she watched her family murdered. Men shot guns and stabbed knivesuntil, finally, all was silent. "Come on..." said one of the men and ushered the other three out. None of them noticed the sad little girl, still sitting at the dinner table. She stared at the partially empty plates and the half empty glasses still left on the table. The candels still burned and the lights were still dim. Everything was still the same, in her mind at least. Though her family members lay in a pool of blood behind her, she kept the memory of their smiling faces in her head. These memories were interupted by a bang outside. She wiped the tears away from her face and got out of the chair. She grabbed her jacket and wrapped up some food in a little bag. After looking at her family with depressed eyes one last time and blowing kisses to each and every one of them, the little girl left, running from the house. Looking back, the house gleamed of Christmas with lights and happiness, but inside, it cried death. How grey her Christmas was, how sad. Just like the sky, grey and crying. ***thats the prologe, tell me what you think...***  If love is stupid, then I stupid you!  An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough...
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01-30-2007, 08:42 PM
I have to admit myself that it is depressing...(BTW, if you haven't figured it out already, I like to kill people in my stories and novels...I don't know why, I just find it more dramatic. I guess I also see it as a way for a character to strive forward...every character needs something to live for, and I think revenge is the best reason to go on living. For those in America, have any of you seen The Punisher? That movie is soo insanely awsome! Anybody agree?).......oh, and this story/novel was inspired by the song "Savin' Me" from Nickelback...I love that group...they are amazing! I don't feel like typing this now though, so, I'm going to type it later....
If love is stupid, then I stupid you! An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough...
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03-08-2007, 09:48 PM
ok....only cause you asked.....but probably not now because I have to eat and then I have SAT class in an hour...*cries*
If love is stupid, then I stupid you! An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough...
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05-19-2007, 01:02 PM
ok.......here's the new one i started......
Losing Time Lost in time. Love shunned from exsistance. Gone with the passion that use to fill the world with happiness. Where did it go? What happened to the firey passion that burned love into everyone's hearts? Time took everything, and time will continue to take everything. Time is the world's theif, stealing everything that we can't live without; love, hate, feelings, life. That uncatchable robber. That unstopable crook. How that coniving theif will spend the rest of it's life in jail; never to die behind bars. "To wait is to watch As I still watch for you, Though no longer waiting, Your time is past due" To think he lost her. She loved him so much and he pained to think that those four lines were all she could say to him. But it was true. That was all she could say to him. He didn't blame her as he sat on his bed in a dim hotel room, the only light from the setting Italian summer sun through the blue curtains. She must've been waiting there for hours. He ran his fingers roughly through his hair. To hell with the people who occupied all the taxis and damn that long walk to the right bus station. Damn the plane ticket she bought and damn the plane that took her home again. But most of all, damn time; for not stopping. For not even slowing down. For stealing her away from him and sweeping her off her feet, carrying her off to her dreams back home instead of into his arms. The phone rang. But he let it ring, and continue ringing, letting the answering machine get it. An angel's voice came over the machine. "Donny...it's Toni. WHere are you? Come on, pick up if you're there. Please? Ok...give me a call back then. I'll give your cell a try." And she hung up, but Donny only stared at the floor. He waited for his cell phone to ring. After a couple of minutes, it did and he picked it up. "Toni?" "Oh, so you are at the room." "Yeah." "What's the matter?" "I lost the race, again...except this time, Maria isn't coming back." "Sounds like you need a drink, Donny." "I'm drinking Maria goodbye." "Then how about a coffee at La Tazza d'Oro?" "Alright. Order when you get there, don't wait up." "Kay." and Toni hung up. He threw on a pair of jeans and a black muscle shirt. After reading Maria's note one last time, he put on some sandals and ran down to catch a taxi. Donny watched the meter as the price went up with every mile. He figured about 10 euros by the time they got to La Tazza d'Oro. He was about right. "Deici cinquanta," the taxi driver said, holding out his hand. Donny paid him. "Grazie, grazie." he said and hurried inside. Toni sat at a little table off to the side. She was a beautiful woman, slender and tall. She wore her black hair up in a pony tail that reached her very tan shoulders. Chocolate brown eyes glistened as she looked up at him, standing. She wore a pair of jeans with a black shirt also. "Looks like we have the same taste in coffee colors." she said, smiling and sitting as he reached the table. Donny was glad she was his best friend. "Mi scusi..." she called to the waiter. He came over. "il caffe...due." "Si." the waiter nodded and walked away to fill their order. Thats all i can put now......because i have to go..... If love is stupid, then I stupid you! An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough...
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05-19-2007, 01:08 PM
Argh... I need more... ;_; *it's a great feeling to cry when your heart's moved*... I think I'm hooked XD
There's no such thing as happy endings, for when you find true love, happiness is everlasting.
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05-21-2007, 07:34 PM
Yeah! I'm glad ya'll like it! I'll post the rest of what i have right now!!!!
(Losing Time continuation) "So, she's gone?" Toni asked, leaning across the table. Donny sighed. "Yeah. I tried to call her at the hotel, but the clerk said that she left for the airport." The waiter put down two porceline cup with Brazilian coffee, the best in Rome. Donny opened a pack of sugar and repeated Maria's note. "'To wait is to watch as I still watch for you, thought no longer waiting, your time is past due.'" Toni took a sip of her coffee, quickly savoring the taste. Her delicate eyes hid behind her eyelids as she let the warm coffee soothe her. Carefully, she put down the cup and looked at his olive-green eyes. "That's all she said?" "That was what Maria wrote in her note she left for me. Four lines. That's it. No 'to Donny' or 'from Maria'. Nothing but the last four lines of a poem." "Ouch. She can really let a guy down hard." "Yeah, but those four lines said everything. Maybe I'm upset because I want there to be more when I don't deserve it." "Don't get too down on yourself, Donny. You're making it sound like the world is coming to an end." "It is, or, at least, mine is." "Donny," Toni sighed. "You're being ridiculus. You act like she's the only woman on this earth." He looked up from staring at his drink. Toni's stern face stared back at him. She looked so confident and demanding, and yet, there was still a hint of sympathy and concern. She really did care for him and him being upset worried her; not that he was upset often. "Besides," she continued, sipping her drink, "she doesn't know what she's missing anyway. You're obviously too good for her, so she left. Donny, you can do so much better." "I can't. Maria was perfect." "Nobody's perect, Donny." "She was." "Well then would've had much more to say to you in her little note and she would've had the decentcy to say goodbye. Donny, you didn't lose much." They finished their coffees in silence. Toni took the liberty of paying the bill. Then they headed out the door and walked to the Pantheon. Thats all i can type for right now......sorry....I'll type the rest later.... If love is stupid, then I stupid you! An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough...
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