The Wanders of the Forest

[darksyndrem]

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Crevan. He lived in the forest that had no name and no location. It was something, somewhere, at sometime. Crevan was walking in the forest, that he was very familiar with, when suddenly he had a strange desire to go deeper into the forest. He wasn’t really sure why, the feeling was so vague. Despite his uncertainty, he continued on into the forest, going deeper and deeper. Crevan came so far into the forest, the trees had become strangers to him; he was no longer in the forest he was so familiar with. Crevan was lost.
Before Crevan goes back he decides to sit down by a large oak to take a rest, and enjoy the forest. He began to hear strange noises; they were noises he had never heard before. It’s only the noises of the wood, he tells himself. But the noises continued, they grew louder, gradually louder and louder, until suddenly, and unexpectedly they stopped. Crevan panicked. He looked around frantically trying to figure out what had been moving so much. Was it a wild beast? Was it just a harmless rabbit? What could it have been? The wonders of the forest he had not seen would be in this part of the forest that, he did not know. He starts to hear voices, he thinks – vague, quiet and close whispers.
“Hey” a soft voice called
“Over here”, Crevan turned around quickly
“No over here”, Crevan, again turns around as quickly as possible, but noticing he can’t find anything that could talk, he starts to think he’s going insane. But finally he realizes he’s only really been looking one direction. He turns back to the oak, and looks straight up. It was a – person, maybe.

Crevan was not sure if he should be frightened or delighted. He asked the girl her name, and she had replied, Duvessa. Her name was Duvessa. Still confused, and slightly afraid, Crevan was left without words to speak. Duvessa saw this, and explained to him that she wondered these parts of the forest, she was a forest nymph. Crevan was not familiar with this, but it did not bother him at all. She was the beauty of the forest; she was the wonder that wandered the forest.

Crevan told her his own name, and continued to say that he was lost. She claimed there was no reason trying to go back. Crevan was very confused by this, but he did not argue with the nymph. Duvessa proposed that he stay in the forest, to wander, and to guard it of unwanted predators. Crevan woke up.


I wouldn't say it's finished....but it might be...I haven't realy thought about it

[AzulieAngel]

That's realy good will you put more of you story, please?
I think you have a good Idea for a story you just need to finish the entire story!

[thcuteness]

I really like so far i hope you finish it, I'm excited to read more ^^.

[FeyOberon]

I like that. On its own, it is like a micro story, or you could run with it and make a novel.

I would like to see you try your hand at short stories. You definitely have the enigma down!

[PockyMePink]

First off, I say finish it, cause "then he woke up" it's the lamest cop out in the history of writing.

Second...is she the beauty of the forsest, or the wanderer of the forest? If both, then what does her beauty have to do with anything (assuming her "wandering" is more dominate than her beauty, cause that's what I pick up on). Also, why is she wandering if she is a forest nymph and belongs there? Shouldn't she have a home?

Third. Insert a sentence along the lines of "It was a small girl" before you say "He asked the girl her name." It sounds better that you identify the person is female before they take action and assume gender at the same time.

Fourth. The tenses are off. Some times you use words like "continued" (past tense), then you turn and use words like "decides" (present tense). Pick one, I suggest past tense.

Fifth. I'm guessing the ending was just a cap on after you thought the story up, but you might want to think it through a bit further. Her trusting him, and him trusting her, came a little too easily. Why would she want him to guard the forest? He's an average human? How does she know he wouldn't hurt the forest himself? Does she ask every random human that wanders into the forest to protect it? Or did she call out to him?

Cute story Tommy. Finish it!!