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07-14-2007, 03:11 AM
wow those lyrics are very deep
theyr very nice i lyk them http://www.japanforum.com/forum/memb...-drawings.html |
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07-14-2007, 04:32 PM
Ohnice! <3 Weldunes : D A few minor spelling mistakes but they're going to be listening to them not reading them anyways : D
Just a suggestion - You could kind of repeat the "As you knew it would. You always knew it would." Bit again just before the 2nd chorus? And turn it into a kind of eh semi-chorus/refrain thingymabob? (Can't remember the proper term for it) Or will that sound too cliched? (Pardon the pun XD) I like it the way it is either way though : D |
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07-14-2007, 04:39 PM
Lmao, yeah, I should've proof read it ~ Deciet > Deceit.
Yeah, I see what you're catching on too. I kinda like that idea. I didn't really like the "never again" bit anyways. So I might change that too "As you knew it would. You always knew it would." Thanks =) |
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07-14-2007, 04:42 PM
: D
No probz! Can't believe someone is actually taking any of my advice, haha. Must go pack now though. Guid luck with your lyrics/song : D |
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07-14-2007, 04:48 PM
Thanks. And I altered two verses with your help =)
__________________ I changed the "would" to "should" You couldn't hold back your anger. Your tales of lies and deciet over came you. As you knew it should. You always knew it should. And changed the "never again" to the "As you know it would. You always knew it would" Oh beautiful, this over came you. Your promises are so clitched. As you knew it would. You always knew it would. _________ And I prefer it so thanks! |
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07-15-2007, 09:44 PM
: D
Love iiiiitt! <3~x Btw - are you going to turn it into a song or do you just like writing lyrics? |
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07-15-2007, 10:06 PM
I like it. ^__^v
I write lyrics myself and somehow it makes you very critical. But yours I like. I would personally have done some changes, but it's your way of writing and it sure appeals to me. The 'chorus' parts are missing, aren't they? [ ♥<-- Jordan's heart! \(Ò_ó)/ ]
Follow me on TUMBLR "Well if a chick has a problem with the way I conduct myself I'd draw the bitch a map to the nearest exit and stamp "fuck off" on her forehead." - Pot Roast |
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