Doubting Yourself

[Tsunade225]

I love writing and people tell me I'm good at it. But sometimes I don't think so. I was wondering do you ever doubt yourself as an artist? Please tell me what you think of my fanfic please

Unexpected Ending

Finally it's over. I think as I fall to the ground bleeding form the multiple wounds on my body. Why did it have to end this way? I ask as I lay face down in the cold grass. My head is turn at just the right angle to where the sight of the angry black storm clouds reaches my vacant eyes. I watch them move slowly across the sky threaten to drench the earth.

As if to confirm my thoughts a very fine icy mist begins to fall. I want to get up to seek the shelter of a nearby tree but my tattered body refuses to let me. The rain begins to fall harder in larger drops as a few minutes pass. Soon I'm lying in a puddle of freezing water mixed with blood and dirt that burns my injuries.

Eventually it's more than I can bear. I push my aching body off the ground my body screaming in pain and agony. I mange to stumble to a tree and fall against it panting as if I had just run a marathon.

I look out over the field where a great battle has just taken place. Stumps now lay where trees once stood, craters have formed from the impact of the battle and of the mass amounts of chakra the two of us have exerted. My eyes continue to wander until they fall upon your now life less body. Why did you force me to this? I feel myself shiver as my stomach makes its presence known by tightening painfully. I can feel tears stinging my eyes as I push them back, ninja don't cry. I can't stand it. I look away from your body and squeeze my eyes close as I drift into the memories of the years gone by.

Did you really have to force me to this? You know I never really wanted to hurt you. As much as I hated you and yes I really did hate you, you were still one of those people that were precious to me. I know I never acted like it but you were. You were my rival, my enemy, my teammate, my friend. I always knew that deep down inside, way deep down, you felt the same. Even if your personality wouldn't let you admit it. You always put me down and called me a loser and I resented you for it then but now I thank you.

All those insults only made me work harder. I pushed myself to the edge and sometimes even further than that. I'd make myself train that extra three hours to master the technique that took you three minutes to master. I became strong because you called me weak.

I always thought that the training that the three of us went through together would make us inseparable. Even when we got older and became Jonin and took different paths I always thought that no matter what the bonds we made would last forever. But as Neiji would have said, fate had different plans.

You decided that the only way to get strong enough to kill you brother was to betray the Village. You left us to become one of Orochimaru's pawns. You never even realized what it was he was really offering you.

Do you remember the lectures Iruka-sensei used to give us in our Academy days about illegal drugs? Do you remember what opium does to you? That's exactly what Orochimaru was giving you, a drug! A drug that could do only one thing..... kill you.

You wanted power so much that you were willing to give up everything. He gave it to you slowly, getting you higher every time. Until finally he administered the final dose, a few seconds of ultimate power was enough to end your life.

When I came after you I had a hard time figuring out why I did it. At first I thought I was going because Sakura begged me to bring you back. I thought that maybe I was angry at you because you crushed her feelings in the palm of you hand. I gave up on her because she loved you. I thought I did it because deep down I still loved Sakura even thought I knew I loved Hinata with my life. I thought I did it because the love I felt for Sakura now felt more like the way a brother would feel for a sister. I thought I hated you because you broke my “sister's” heart. But that wasn't it.

Then I thought I was doing it to protect the Village. You possessed the Sharingan one of Konoha's greatest weapons. Your family knew some of the deepest darkest secrets. You we're a top ninja and now you would be fighting for one of our greatest enemies. I thought I hated you because you were endangering my home and the people I had learned to love and care for. Granny Tsunade, Hinata, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Bushy Brows, and all the others had become some of my best friends and the closet thing to family I had ever known. This time I thought I had finally figured it out. But once again I was wrong.

Finally it hit me; I hated you because I missed you. You had become my brother in the same way Sakura was now my sister. I now understood the way you felt when Itachi betrayed your family. I understood the torment you went through. I realized why I came after you.

I wanted to set you free.

I understood then I had two options. I could persuade you to return with me and show you that you do still have a family. People who care about you, yes you lost your blood family but, now you have Sakura and me. Yeah, I know we're not the greatest people to be stuck with but we've seen some tough times together. We passed Kakashi-sensei's test together, we defeated Zabuza together, and we survived the Forest of Death together. I think you see the pattern. Everything we accomplished we accomplished together. I also new that if you refused to return with me I couldn't let you go back to Orochimaru, I couldn't let my brother be used by someone. I knew that if you didn't return with me you would never return to anyone. I also knew that I couldn't live with myself knowing I'd killed my brother. I knew I had to die too. That's why I refuse to let the Fox Sprit heal me. I'm going to die here and now, with you my comrade, my rival, my enemy, my teammate, my brother.

As I finished my final thoughts I felt my body slowly weakening. I felt myself beginning to fade. I thought this really was the end. Until I felt someone gentle shaking me speaking my name.

“Naruto?” they said. I open my eyes to see the warm white eyes of my beloved. “Hinata-chan” I say as a small smile comes to my lips. Upon seeing my smile tears begin to run down her face.

“Naruto!” she cries throwing herself onto my cheats. I groan slightly but I don't push her away. Her tears sting my wounds a little but I couldn't care less. All I care about right now is knowing I'm with the woman I love more than life itself. I comfort her by gently patting the back of her head telling her that I'm alright. After a few minutes she stops and gently pushes off of me before kissing me deeply. I missed her so much. I love her so much. I just wanted to stay with her in that moment forever but I heard someone a ways away from us sniffling. I carefully broke this kiss with Hinata to see who was making the noise. I look up to see Sakura leaning over your body crying her eyes out, but she's not alone.

My eyes move to the left slightly to see Lee standing with her looking completely helpless. Lee, another one of my brothers. Lee and I are very different but there are a few things that have caused us to become close. We were both failures who succeeded but one other. We both loved Sakura, but as always the case was she never loved us back. She only had eyes for you. It wasn't hard for me to figure out why the three of them were here. Sakura got tired of waiting for me to return and came after me. Sakura needed to be able to find me so she brought Hinata and her Byakugan. Hinata allowed herself to be dragged along because she was worried about me. And Lee came to protect Sakura. That's one thing I've always admired about old Bushy Brows, he always keep his word and stayed true to his shinobi path. He knew that Sakura loved you but, he still vowed to always protect her.

I watched him stand beside Sakura, still not sure what to do. Sakura was now sitting with her legs folded under her crying into her hands. What Lee did next surprised me completely. He knelled down next to and pulled her close to him. And what she did surprised me even more. She didn't push him away, she just cried. I could see him whispering softly to her and petting her hair. I realized then I had a new mission.

My new mission was to protect my “family.” I'm sorry my brother I can't die yet. I have to stay and help those of us left. I look over as Hinata who's still leaning on me; she too is looking over at the scene before us. She's smiling in a way only she can tears are streaming down her face at the lose of a comrade. I slowly start to get up and with her help I'm able to. I walk over to the two leaning on Hinata for support. When I reach them I can still hear Sakura sniffling as she cuddles into Lee's chest. I place my hand on her back.

There's no need for words between us. We both know this is probably the best. Hinata begins quickly doing hand signs and with a small flash your body is buried with a simple head stone. We all bow our heads in respect. After a few minutes of peaceful silence we all stand up. As we walk out of the clearing I look back. The rain has stopped and a rainbow has appeared. I stare at your grave. As I stare I swear I see and image of the three of us right before the Chunin Exams standing together smiling. I can almost hear the sound of your voice. “Naruto you're such a loser.”

Finally the tears I've been holding back for so long finally break loose. I look again this time it's just you standing there. You're smiling your simple smirk and wave me on. I smile and nod my head. I turn and catch up with the others. Don't worry, you may be gone but I'll make sure that you're never forgotten. When I become Hokage you'll be the first one I thank Sasuke.

[Shiningmonkey]

That's very good. A lot of vivid imagery. Keep it up .

[Tsunade225]

Thank you ^_^

[onexsoul]

ok i doubt MY abbility as an auther if u want to read the story im working on just message me... i doubt ull want to tho...

[Shaelyn]

I'm afraid at the moment I dont really have the time to read...

but I will say this.

you are your worst critic.

very few people like their "art." I love to sing; I hate my voice. most singers do. I know webcomic artists that stopped their comic just because they hated their art style. they drew well, it just wasn't what they wanted. etc. etc. you're going to doubt yourself, it's natural. just don't listen to it too much.

[StevenJase]

I broke etiquette and didn't read the full thing sorry.I will tell you this Leaders of the world/companies don't waste time asking other people if they did a good job they know in their self that they did what was needed. Being sure of your skill will been seen as full of yourself, but just know yourself and abiltiy! If you created it there is a place for it. People can find fault in everything. Do your best that's all that can be asked.Work goes a long way don't ever be let down by what others say; you're only as good as you let yourself be. Once it isn't late I promise I will read this but than again I'm a stranger you shouldn't care what I tihnk!

I am an arist and beileve you are your worst critic (Do you need another?). Just Keep doing what you're doing! I don't think you should be looking for critics on forums (sorry everyone) but people aren't the most honest on these things. Keep doing what you're doing if it makes you happy people should come around.

[IamTVIRUS]

looks good keep it up and you are your worst critic always

if you guys want you can read some of my work. i need someone who doesnt know me to tell me what you think of it :/

MySpace.com - T-virus ownz - 20 - Male - Fayetteville, NORTH CAROLINA - www.myspace.com/antipacman its the second from the top in the blogs and theres several others or you can message me and ill send it post haste other than that your shit was hot!!!

[onexsoul]

lol i like ur siggy and yea i like to sing, people say im good butt.... i dunoo. and i like to draw yet my friend is better so i dont think i can yet ppl say im good , the only thing i NO about myself (this is really stupid) but i hav soft hair and i take pride in it (i told u it was stupid)

[Kyousuke]

Actually its a writer or artists habit to be competetive. you might read something thats a little better and you'll improve your writing style. same goes for artists.

[Yuna7780]

Don't ever doubt yourself. You won't know the extent of your abilities. I've learned that the hard way. I'm very self promotional, but I'm possibly the most humble person on this planet. I'm messed up.