"Dark Poems"

[onexsoul]

Originally Posted by AoshiShinomori

Good going there onex! First time I've specifically seen a haunting theme on a poetry thread

I'm quite curious though onex-san, do you feel that one word lines accent the poem?

yea... i do.... i mean... i think that is adds more to wat the poet is trying *cant think of the word at the moment*
and wats with the rolling of the eyes!?!?!

do u not like it? wats wrong with it???

[SweetSuicide]

I was really really really depressed when i wrote this so please excuse the really darkenss of it.


I can't take this anymore
The brusies and cuts are so sore
My life is becoming such a bore
I really have nothing to live for

Faking lauhgs and smiles today
Only my mask cna hide my pain
No one can even being to say
That I'm being held here with a chain

Too many years I hvaen't been sorry
Lies and flase hopes have kept me sadder
This is my life, not a soap opera story
Open cuts keep on getting badder

So I seal my deal and close the book
Years of pain and hate are at an end
I can fianlly say I'm off live's hook
Anyone have a casket they could lend?

[tifa]

maybe i should kill
maybe i should murder them all
maybe just maybe i might do it
no ...maybe i wont ....


tell me dark prince
what u would like
im your slave to you like the the light to a star...
tell me...
do u wish pain
do u wish love
are do u demand i kill for no one else
tell me my prince
do u wish i kill my slef????.....

[AoshiShinomori]

@onex-san - Not at all. I think they accent the poem too. I've never used them in my poems so I was just trying to learn if there was a specific way in which you use them. For e.g. most of the lines are three words so having one word lines is basically one third of a normal line. If you had used say.. seven words per line and again used one word lines it would look even more apparent but that might not have achieved the theme you were weaving.

So before I end up confusing myself and everybody else here, I was just trying to learn how people use one word lines so I could experiment with them later. I think it's a great poem! Go onex-san! *whoots*

@Tifa - sca-ree! Short but very descriptive. Nice going!

@SweetS - Sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's been so long! Excellent poetry as always. It's just amazing how you come up with stuff like that. I've made a nice little SweetS collection from all the poems in your old thread. It's sooo goood to see you here *hugs x a million*

[onexsoul]

[quote=AoshiShinomori;289235]@onex-san - Not at all. I think they accent the poem too. I've never used them in my poems so I was just trying to learn if there was a specific way in which you use them. For e.g. most of the lines are three words so having one word lines is basically one third of a normal line. If you had used say.. seven words per line and again used one word lines it would look even more apparent but that might not have achieved the theme you were weaving.

So before I end up confusing myself and everybody else here, I was just trying to learn how people use one word lines so I could experiment with them later. I think it's a great poem! Go onex-san! *whoots*

[quote]

o ok
thank you tho ^.^
i just randumly write poems ^.^
im gunna post another in jsut a moment

[tifa]

why thank you muhahahahahahahaha

[onexsoul]

the other nite
as i lay dreaming
i dreamed
i held you again
you were telling me
how much you loved me
you were telling me
that i was wat you needed
i kissed your check, my dear
and you dissapeared
my arms were empty
not even a whisper
of proof that you were there
when i awoke
i found that it was true
you had left me
and my arms were empty
again

[MaymeRachael]

I sit here
Watching
Waiting
Wondering
About my future
The world is a lonely
Cold
Place to be w/o someone you love.

[shadow11798]

on silent feet you follow
in the shadows you hide
waiting for the right moment to strike

the hatered is in your eyes
as you stare at my progress
your fingers itching
wanting to land the final blow

knowing that you will be at peace
you inch forward
the closer you get
the harder your heart grows

cold and distant are your feelings
calm and collected your nerves
as you land the final blow

standing over me
gloating in your victory
a final tear falls from me
your venegance complete
your heart returned...


a life for a life

[jade94]

these all sound so cool so i guess it's my turn too.

hush little emodon't you cry
razor blades will be comeing by
parents hate you, friends betray.
life is slowly slipping away
hush little emo dont say a word.
one day you'll be at home in the world.
lonely,hurt and betrayed.
one day it'll all just go away
parents care and friends will adore
once they hear the knock at the door.
you've dissappeared and died in gore
all cut up and sliced somemore
so hush little emo dont be afraid
one day it'll all just go away
you've sliced you wrist and died in peace
you lay there lifeless at their feet
they cry they hurt they appologize
but still you lay there sliced. no more can you hurt no more can you feel
the better the price the better the deal
it's to late for sorrys and appologies
for you'll never walk wit them again.
so hush little emo just lay there and reat.
soon they'll all be just like this