Japanese raising

[MMM]

If a baby is adopted into an American home, "it's" (as you so kindly put it) heritage is American.

How close do you feel to your African heritage?

The only way you are going to raise a Japanese baby is if you live in Japan.

If you are so ready to ship "it" off to Japan, I'd really like to know the answer to this question:

Why do you want a baby?

[Kal3ido]

I don't look at it as shipping him/her of to Japan, more like an exchange student if anything. African heritage is great, but it has it's flaw's like everything else, and them flaws I dislike. It's hard to explain. Maybe I will have to live there for atleast half of him/her lives.

[Hatredcopter]

Lets just get down to the heart of the matter and point out that it's virtually impossible for a foreign person to adopt a Japanese child in the first place. There aren't many Japanese children up for adoption to begin with. The ones that are will go to Japanese parents living in Japan, not to people overseas. Third, Japanese adoption laws are rather iffy - the biological birth parent of the child you adopted can request to have their child back if they wanted to, at any point, and there would be not much you can do about it.

If every culture has its "flaws", then why do you want a Japanese child so much more than any other? Japan is a first-world nation and doesn't have issues with poverty or famine or anything like that. I think you will find that it is impossible for you to adopt from Japan.

[Kal3ido]

Never really thought to much into what if I can not adopt a Japanese child...Basically Im saying, my culture's has alot of flaws, and Im not that intent on my kids learning them. This goes back to my school where Asain"s normally be at the top of there class and how hard they study and also how they are raised. I really admire that over my culture system any day. I'll just have to put a little bit more thought into this =]

[SSJup81]

Now you're pretty much stereotyping. Japan has its share of lazy students and under achievers just like every other country. It all goes back to the parenting in general. If the parent doesn't care about his/her child's school work, then the child probably won't take it seriously either. If the parent gets on his/her child to do the best he/she can in school and take a healthy interest in his/her child's school work, then the child will more than likely do well with it or at least try. Just because someone has a Japanese child doesn't mean that that child will miraculously and automatically do well in school.

I have a friend from Osaka, Natsuko, who's living here in Richmond and going to the University near me. She's been working hard on getting her Masters (sorry, can't recall the the field of study right off). She's Japanese, but ironically, she's terrible when it comes to math and science, something that the Japanese are supposed to be geniuses with. You really shouldn't be stereotyping in such a way.

Originally Posted by MMM

How close do you feel to your African heritage?

Probably like most African Americans I know, far from it, since we can't trace our roots to figure that out. Not all, mind you, have this problem, but most people I've come across do, my own family included. Our heritage was, technically, stripped away from us when our ancestors were brought over here. You know, forced to learn another language and forced to embrace a whole other culture, while our own kind of "vanished" over the years.

I sometimes wonder if this is the reason why I'm so interested in learning about so many other cultures since I don't really know much about my own and don't know of a way to actually learn about it since when I was old enough to even question it, the older members of my family, had already passed on.

[MMM]

I guess I am still looking for the answer to the question:

Why do you want a baby?

And Hatred Copter is right. Japan is going through a population crisis right now. They aren't letting any babies out of the country that they don't have to.

Picking a culture is not like picking out shower curtains. Unless you live in Japan, your child is going to be raised in your culture and your heritage, like it or not.

[Nyororin]

When it all comes down to it, you`re picking and choosing a nationality for your baby. NOT a culture. NOT a race (although by default a Japanese child would be Asian, you`re not willing to settle for an Asian baby. You want a Japanese baby.)

In other words - You`re picking a nationality because you think that nationality is cool.

You seem to be totally missing the fact that nationality and location of birth have pretty much NOTHING to do with how the child turns out. The culture you grow up in is what makes the difference. If you want your child to turn out well, and work hard as a parent... Race, nationality, etc will not matter. And to go the other way, if you`re an awful parent it won`t fix your mistakes either.
If you don`t want your children to pick up the perceived flaws of your home culture, the only way to prevent it would be to remove yourself from said culture. Unless you plan on keeping your child locked up in the house 24/7 with no exposure to other people or even to television and other cultural medias... The child WILL be part of your home culture. Deal with it. It doesn`t make a speck of difference what country they were from. Once you`re their parent, your home culture is their home culture. You can change your in-home culture in any way you like, and incorporate Japanese ideals into it. But you will NEVER be able to change outside culture and peer pressure - so your child will always end up as part of your "home" culture.

I could really care less if you want to have a racially diverse family. But that isn`t what you`re saying. You are saying you want Japanese children for a very specific purpose - to send them to Japan to learn about a culture they very well might have no interest in at all. Not because you want a diverse family - because you want them to do something YOU think would be cool. In reality, children with Japanese blood who were raised outside Japan have the most problems if they come to Japan. They usually take the longest to learn the language, and experience the most stress in daily life. Everyone who I`ve met in that situation ended up wanting nothing more than to leave within a month or two. But of course, your children would be perfect right? Do wonderfully in school, grow up 100% Japanese in spite of not being exposed to the culture, and have these magical genetic powers of language acquisition...? Ha!

To be totally honest, I`m not at all concerned that you`ll actually realize this "plan". No adoption agency in it`s right mind would approve you. You don`t want a child, you want a idealistic proxy. I`m more concerned that you really think this is a viable option. That it`s alright to obtain a child in order to "live through them". You seem to have some serious issues with your own race and culture that you DEFINITELY need to work out before you even give any thought to having a child of your own.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Kal3ido

Never really thought to much into what if I can not adopt a Japanese child...Basically Im saying, my culture's has alot of flaws, and Im not that intent on my kids learning them. This goes back to my school where Asain"s normally be at the top of there class and how hard they study and also how they are raised. I really admire that over my culture system any day. I'll just have to put a little bit more thought into this =]

It sounds like more than anything, that you need counselling.

Personally, I think culture is nothing to be proud OR ashamed of... but it sounds like you have self-esteem issues relating to your perception of your race/culture, so I'd suggest looking for positive things about African American culture. I know there are plenty of African American heroes and legends out there.

On a side note- I learnt about the Tuskeegee airmen about a year ago. (I'm not American so forgive my ignorance) and I thought that was one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard. The ONLY fighter wing in WW2 to NEVER lose a bomber under escort.... and they were all black top guns! They had to not only prove themselves in the air but tolerate the disgraceful prejudice by some of their comrades and countrymen at the time. Amazing!

[Kal3ido]

First time I ever heard I need counselling because I dont think my culture all that great. And blankly, it's full of bull. I should say it's more of the community fault then the culture, again a lot of it has been lost. But when you walk in my shoes, then you tell me if it's so great or not. Yes, we have our famous people who did wonderful things. But in my mind today, the bad is starting to outweigh the good. I was not trying to sterotype anyone, it just came out wrong. But in this day and age you can pick what traits\genes you want to surpress. That's what I want. As I stated before, some people believe's it's in your blood the way people act the way they do. I never said Japan was the magic making country, but to me there values are pretty high, school system better, kids more respectable. Maybe it's in there blood, maybe it's not. Like I said before, I didn't post this to be ridculed by the masses, keep your negative comments to yourself. Anyways Im already finacially stable, so why not have kids? I was just going to wait till 25 to live a little, but I dont feel that Im missing much. I would still feel the same way if I felt that Hawaiian/French/Spanish culture was the best. This is just a gateway to help. I once never said that other cultures were not smart. I know some Asian who have asked me questions, and we both did not know the answears to. I just think they have better priorties, then most races. I dont think you can infuse something into you that your not apart of, yes you can learn, but never become apart of. In the long run I think im doing the right thing, so really END of discussion!

[MMM]

Japanese values are NOT in their blood. It's in their culture.

It's very clear to me that what you need to do is find a way to live in Japan.