Children not in good terms

[Yuna7780]

No, you're perfectly fine right now. Sometimes it's good to fight, but you also need to establish more rules if this keeps up and occurs more often!
I also watched on Tyra the other day about sibling birth order. lol That's something to look into too, but I doubt it would exactly match your own children.
Good luck, and don't worry. Being a child and being a parent is tough work!

[Slykaz1]

Originally Posted by steve88

I've 3 children, 2 boys and one girl. Their age are, girl 19, boys 15 and 11 years. They don't like each others. They always fight among each on TV channels, computer, car seat arrangement, etc. I've tried my best to harmonies but failed. I admire those family whose children are well behave and closed to each and respect their parent. We failed miserably as parent but that is not what we want. Has anyone got this problem? Could anyone help me how to tackle this issue. Thank you

I've got a similar problem......
I tried rolling a die with their first name letter on it and then we lost track of it. then I pulled out a handmade calander and wrote who did what on what days and so forth it kinda worked til they forgot to write in it. Then we gave them tickets for t.v., computer, games etc time.....that didn't work. And now all I have to do is glare at them and they settle down at once. But I've never spanked them.

What I did is I set them on schedules for example.....

Like if we're on Monday and the eldest took a shower first then on Tuesday the second takes a shower first and we rotate them. and stuff like that. And they have to tell me what they want to watch. And it does help that they each have their own t.v.'s. And as for car rides. If I'm driving they can't ride "shotgun". If they get out of hand on a channel from the living room I make them turn it off and go watch t.v. in their own rooms. That kinda forces them to come to an agreement since the living room is the only room that has cable..^_^..And as for computer time I use a timer.....1 hour at a time no more and whoever took a shower first that day got to go on the computer first.

As far as punishment goes when they fight I take them one by one and ask what happen and since know how well they behave against each other and I come to my own conclusions as to what really happened. Then I get them together and tell them what I think really happened. They usually say I'm right. Then i make them say I'm sorry to each other.

My kids know that if we were to die they would only have each other to rely on as family. You can't really rely on other relatives or friends. I've seen what close families go through when they don't get along. I've told them that I don't want ours to be like that...It's sad.

But I suggest patience through trial and error....

[yukiNnight]

i always had problems with my sibilings we don't get along well because they are spoiled like whatever i do that they don't like is wrong so i dont like them i dont think they should be spoiled maybe try to set things on your own way and tell them if they want to have the own arrangement then buy their own car!

[Navi]

Originally Posted by steve88

I've 3 children, 2 boys and one girl. Their age are, girl 19, boys 15 and 11 years. They don't like each others. They always fight among each on TV channels, computer, car seat arrangement, etc. I've tried my best to harmonies but failed. I admire those family whose children are well behave and closed to each and respect their parent. We failed miserably as parent but that is not what we want. Has anyone got this problem? Could anyone help me how to tackle this issue. Thank you

It's natural, I used to fight with my brother all the time. I have a suggestion however it could get out of hand.

Leave the house, tell them that they are to take care of the house. An argument can and most likely will start. Just let them argue to their heart's content and eventually they will stop and realise they love each other and will stop fighting.

This worked for my brother and I, my parents didn't do this but while they were out he and I got into a really heated argument and it ended up in a physical fight. I hit him so hard that I kind of felt sorry for him and started wondering why we even do this shit to each other. We haven't had a fight since. Sometimes you need to get these things out.

However this will get out of hand and probably won't work if your children don't have a sense of empathy.

[fuu]

My children are a little younger but I understand what your saying. My boys are 11 and 8. schedueling does work and also rewards for behaving correctly and loss of priviledges*ex:computer, video games, phone, etc...* when fighting. I also take time out for each one of them each day even if its only a few minutes to spend time individually. Just me and one of the boys and then me and my other son. Letting them know that they are individuals as well as siblings. My children fight but are the first ones to defend or protect their brother when the other needs it. Fighting is normal because each person is unique and growing up with siblings is a excellent learning experience to learn how to get along with people of all sorts of personallities. So it might be tough now but as they get older they will still value each other as family.

[912hottie]

my bros. & I fight all the time. mabe u should just sit down and tell them u r disapointed in them & ground them from TV, Phone, ect.

[superheel]

That's normal. Life as a family is not fun without fighting, specially for siblings. When they are in trouble, you'll see, the will end up helping each other.

[jackgubat]

Have you dated them individually?
Have you to talk about their personal life?
Have you shown your love for them?
How much time do you spend with them?

Treat them as individual persons with different characters, personalities, special abilities and potentials.

LOVE THEM unconditionally and Have a great time with them.

[jackgubat]

Looking at their age differences, they have different needs and interests. The girl might be interested in boy friends or relationships. The 15 year old be starting to be interested in girls and has just adjusted from a boy to a teen ager. The 11 year old is still a boy morphing to puberty and soon he will be confused about his identity.

Put together in a box, they can not communicate effectively if they have their own personal interests in mind.

[Koyuki]

You didn't fail, Having children is the most wonderfull thing in the world, you're related to them in feeling and biologically. That's why i think you must increase the communication intensity in your home. If you feel sad with their act tell them you feel sad with what they're doing and you expecting them to behave.
Talk for every simple thing, like if you will them to wash their plate after dinner and they didnt obey, just tell them that you would be happy if they do it. Look into their eyes when you say it like you're diving into their feeling , you say it and you mean it. Even when you give them a time up.
So i think improve the communication.