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Bureda't Jokes -
10-16-2008, 05:55 AM
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.... that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet again.....
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night. The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you... then we made love all night long.' The married one then said: 'Well, last night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV remote and a beer, plopped his fat ass on the couch and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?' 
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How To Beat A Speeding Ticket -
10-16-2008, 06:04 AM
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI. Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Whose car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car. Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it? Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box. Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it. Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body. Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk. Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying son of a b1tch. told you I was speeding, too!
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10-16-2008, 10:15 AM
lmao! nice one. My mom got out of a speeding ticket once, she was pleading to the officer like hell. She said she would clean his car and brush his teeth for him no joke o.O got off with a warning. -.-'
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10-16-2008, 02:54 PM
I got pulled for running a red light.....had to pay $213 for it too >_< I'm never doing that again.....
My Property:Pexster, Slykaz1 If the ocean was vodka and i was a duck, i would go to the bottom and drink my way up but the ocean isn't vodka and i'm no duck so pass up the bottle and shut the hell up! Score: Eiri: 43 Slykaz1: 78Rojjin: 59 Yuna7780: 79 reihino:15 Crani:22 Ramones1976:0 AnimeBaby:3 Arikado:1 Kikibunny23:3
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