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My mum has issues with my boyfriend. -
11-01-2008, 07:51 AM
I'v been with my boyfriend for at least 5 or 6 months now. Of course I'm 16 and its only natural for a mum to worry. But its to the point were she doesn't want me any were near him and even in the beginning she refused to meet him unless it was serious enough. I get the feeling... its more of a knowing, that she has a problem with him being vietnamese. It might sound silly but I think were in love and breaking up over this just isn't an option.
sarah 
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11-01-2008, 09:16 AM
hmm... I cant really tell how looks like the relationships between parents and their kids in japan. In Europe... when kids are gettin older and older they starting to get their own opinions, they are about to start makin first serious decisions but regarding love I've always doing what I want! The opinion of my mother or father wasn't crucial.
There never was a situation like this that my mother dont agree about some girls. But tell... what about this that guy is Vietnamese? They are on lowers social status in Japan or what? You know if you really love that guy I suggest this. Try to oppose your mom. Do it in hard way! Maybe when she recognize that you really care about this guy, that it really is love (BTW you are convinced that this IS REAL LOVE??) she would surrender! But it is just hypothetical. Try to consider every way and possibilities and do your best  !
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11-01-2008, 10:43 AM
Quote:
 BTW, to answer your question, yeah I really do love him. Thank you so much for your input. Much appreciated.
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11-01-2008, 01:08 PM
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11-03-2008, 03:12 AM
Aww... so you think your mom may not like you dating because he's vietnamese? That's rather sad... my mom and dad have this thing against Koreans, and when I made friends with one in my childhood, they didn't want him coming home with me... We moved a little after we met, but I do remember that all very vividly. And I like Koreans.
As for your mom, you need to explain to her that no one should ever be stereotyped like that. If he's good for you and truly loves you, ignore your parents and keep dating him. You may change their thoughts on him. They'll see that you were right in choosing him if he makes you happy.   I'd rather be an idiot having fun than a genius bored out of his mind.
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11-03-2008, 03:24 AM
Let's see, maybe it's not because of racial issues but maybe it's because she doesnt trust you boyfriend. I mean, for people from past generations like your mom, some modern day fashion appearance may be an issue. For example, maybe your boyfriend wears piercings or he has a fancy hairstyle or he has a tatoo, blah blah blah. Those things are really big deal for some people, my grandma would always yell at me for putting hair highlights because she thinks that i look like a person who uses drugs, or those kind of stuff.
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11-03-2008, 10:27 AM
I'll put it this way.
Usually, I would tell you to listen to your mother. But that is if she thinks there is something bad about his personality. Due to him being Asian, do what you will and ignore her. However, if a time comes, where your mother says "Leave him, he's going to break your heart" and it's not for a racial reason, then keep your eyes open, because your parents have seen and experienced many things, and they can tell.
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11-03-2008, 12:07 PM
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Don't do drugs!  
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11-03-2008, 12:19 PM
Wow what a terrible situation to be in.
I wouldn't worry about what your mum thinks too much. It sounds like she isn't outright stopping you from seeing him. Also you're nearly 18 which means you will become independent, can move out and make your own decisions then so if it becomes serious in that time... it will be up to your mother to come to terms with it and not the other way around.
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