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StangGuy (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 09:42 AM

Nope, I can't say my experience comes from Tokyo. My dating experience comes from my time in Hiroshima and with my views of what it means to be "single" in Japan also influenced by Japanese guys from Nagoya.

I wasn't saying that Japanese women are willing to cheat at any chance. I was trying to say that short of a deep commitment to "the one" she will be willing to entertain that some other guy is "the one", and will go on a date with him. My comment about being "single" unless married comes from direct experience. When I was asked if I was "single" and answered "no" pretty much everytime the other person assumed I was married. One time that sticks out is when I was drinking with a US expat and a Japanese woman that I had known for a few months and they knew I wasn't married but I was dating someone, but an older Japanese man asked me if I was single and I said "no", they both were shocked and wanted to know when I got married. It is just that in my experience Japanese view relationships differently. Unless they feel like it is a long term relationship, they are willing to date other people and most of their cohort will view it as okay even if the other people they are dating wouldn't think it is okay.

As for asking her out, I definitely think the first time you should ask at least one other coworker to come so it isn't so high pressure.
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12-15-2008, 09:54 AM

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Originally Posted by StangGuy View Post
As for asking her out, I definitely think the first time you should ask at least one other coworker to come so it isn't so high pressure.
wish it was that easy mate. u see, im in a japanese company.
theres only 3 of us filipinos here. the other 2 are girls, and im not close with them as well.

i did made friends with 2 japanese guys here, but they are both married already and would have no reason to go to dinner out with me.
it would be really akward.

in short, i dont think ill be able to find someone to join us when i ask her out..

its so hard to make friends with japanese especially in the workplace since theres this huge barrier between work n social life..


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Ronin4hire (Offline)
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12-15-2008, 10:04 AM

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Originally Posted by ZedKnightly View Post

i know a thing or 2 here in japan, and that is girls and guys can never be "friends", it will always mean something else to the publics eye.
Huh? I think that's just your imagination.

I've had many Japanese platonic girlfriends...

Either that or I should be concerned....
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12-15-2008, 10:07 AM

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Originally Posted by Ronin4hire View Post
Huh? I think that's just your imagination.

I've had many Japanese platonic girlfriends...

Either that or I should be concerned....

really mate? cause ive heard a couple of those, plus its portrayed in jdramas / animes.. example would be a scenario where a girl is talking to a guy in the guys room then a friend suddenly opens the door, and caught the girl and guy talking. then the girl suddenly blurts out that they are just friends and was not doing anything.

seen a couple of those, and ive heard its cause of that reason. then again i guess u cant generalize japan. hehe.

i envy u people. wish it was that easy for me to make friends with japanese.. both girls n guys.


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12-15-2008, 10:21 AM

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really mate? cause ive heard a couple of those, plus its portrayed in jdramas / animes.. example would be a scenario where a girl is talking to a guy in the guys room then a friend suddenly opens the door, and caught the girl and guy talking. then the girl suddenly blurts out that they are just friends and was not doing anything.

seen a couple of those, and ive heard its cause of that reason. then again i guess u cant generalize japan. hehe.

i envy u people. wish it was that easy for me to make friends with japanese.. both girls n guys.
Lol... you can't learn about Japanese society from Drama and Anime. Japanese are human like the rest of us.

Make friends with them the same way you make friends with Filipino people (i.e. find something in common and then go from there... your interest in Japanese culture is a good start so a Japanese person who is also interested in other cultures would be easy to make friends with I think)
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12-15-2008, 10:24 AM

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Originally Posted by Ronin4hire View Post
Lol... you can't learn about Japanese society from Drama and Anime. Japanese are human like the rest of us.

Make friends with them the same way you make friends with Filipino people (i.e. find something in common and then go from there... your interest in Japanese culture is a good start so a Japanese person who is also interested in other cultures would be easy to make friends with I think)
guess your right. hehe. its just that ive been here for a year and a half already, and ive barely progressed in the art of making friends.

i re-read my posts and found out im beggining to sound like a loner, or a dork.
ill take the loner one.


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12-15-2008, 10:33 AM

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Originally Posted by ZedKnightly View Post
guess your right. hehe. its just that ive been here for a year and a half already, and ive barely progressed in the art of making friends.

i re-read my posts and found out im beggining to sound like a loner, or a dork.
ill take the loner one.
Ganbatte!
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a hint of courage - 12-15-2008, 01:33 PM

i somewhat feel a lil more courageous now, even though i just chickened out a while ago.

But i proved what i feel for her, and i think i have courage to pull this one off.
Right or wrong i guess im going for this.


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12-15-2008, 03:14 PM

If she is not married, she's fair game. Tell her "Hey, I doing (make up some planned activity like a party or something) this on Saturday. It'll be fun. You should come." If she says "I have a boyfriend", just say " I'm not asking him I'm asking you". If she says no, fine but don't give up. Ask again for a different activity, but sound like it is no big deal if she says no. Just let her think you will have and had a great time(after the weekend) by yourself. I'll bet she says yes before long. Just don't act too interested in her and act like she needs to impress you.
Oh, and BTW I have many Japanese ladyfriends who I never dated.
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12-15-2008, 03:20 PM

Just make sure you don't seem to desperate.
Guys that cannot take no for an answer are freakin' annoying.


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