in love with a taken japanese girl..

[Aniki]

Knowing that she's 28 I don't think she's a naive person, and obviously she understands that she is more that just a friend for him, especially after his last attempt to strike a conversation with her:

Originally Posted by ZedKnightly

official office time is over. 5:30.
she was cleaning her mug in the pantry when i approached with my orange juice...
but when i was there, i failed to strike a conversation.
not even a hi..
was too nervous.
damn cant believe this is happening to me.

Also, in his previous posts he stated that her relationship has problems, and right now asking for dinner be the same as taking advantage out her worsened relationship. Do you really think it's wise for him to make ANY moves while she is in such state?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Aniki

Knowing that she's 28 I don't think she's a naive person, and obviously she understands that she is more that just a friend for him, especially after his last attempt to strike a conversation with her:


Also, in his previous posts he stated that her relationship has problems, and right now asking for dinner be the same as taking advantage out her worsened relationship. Do you really think it's wise for him to make ANY moves while she is in such state?

In Japan silence is not uncomfortable as it is in the West, so no, I doubt she had the impression he is falling for her because he didn't say hello in the break room.

I don't understand why asking her to dinner is "taking advantage". If he likes her and she likes him, where is the damage? If she were married, yes, that would be a completely different story. If she is happy with her relationship and isn't interested in Zed, then she will decline his invitation. No harm, no foul.

[bELyVIS]

Originally Posted by MMM

Telling her how he feels would be a terrible idea. Japanese people aren't so forthcoming with their feelings until well into a relationship. Just asking her out for dinner sends a VERY clear message. If she accepts, she is sending a VERY clear message. If she declines, she is also sending a VERY clear message. If she says "kondo" (next time) that is another VERY clear message. The important point is, if she says yes, you have an in, if she says no, or more than likely "kondo" or some other polite way of turning you down, then it should be dropped and never discussed again. Then it is time to explore outside of the office.

I agree with this to a point. Do not tell her how you feel. But also asking her out on a "date", (dinner is a terrible first date because of all the talking needed during dinner which is too stressful) is a bad idea. Do something creative like shopping (women love to shop. Act like you need her opinion on a shirt or something. Take her for coffee while shopping. Be diffferent)
Women don't know how they feel about a man until they are sure that no other will do it for her. If done right you can have her saying "Boyfriend? What boyfriend?" It's not about not taking no for an answer, it's about making her want to see that you are the right man for her.

[xYinniex]

just be there for her, knowing her situation.
Thats the only thing you can do now.
Since she's the one in the relationship, she has the choice to end it.

[SimpleasThyme]

Ask her out for something to eat.

Confess your feelings. Tell her you know it might make her uncomfortable, but you just need to confess for your own sake. Then tell her you're willing to wait until those feelings can be returned.

Being honest with yourself and others is always the best way of doing things. Perhaps she'll be with you, or maybe she won't. Either way you will feel a lot better than you do now.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by SimpleasThyme

Ask her out for something to eat.

Confess your feelings. Tell her you know it might make her uncomfortable, but you just need to confess for your own sake. Then tell her you're willing to wait until those feelings can be returned.

No. No no no. That's suicide.

[SimpleasThyme]

I thought so too...

Turned out to be one huge relief though. I mean, I'm not saying he'll get her, but it'll definitely take a huge load off his back.

When I did it the girl didn't return my feelings, but we remained good friends until she passed. I was so happy that we were able to at least talk though.

[MMM]

Keaton is right. That is suicide. Even if she was madly in love with him, no Japanese woman I know wouldn't flip out if he asked her to dinner and then said "I am falling in love with you." He might as well jump off a bridge.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by SimpleasThyme

I thought so too...

Turned out to be one huge relief though. I mean, I'm not saying he'll get her, but it'll definitely take a huge load off his back.

When I did it the girl didn't return my feelings, but we remained good friends until she passed. I was so happy that we were able to at least talk though.

This isn't about relief though, it's about getting the girl Confessing to someone is almost selfish, like you only want to hear yourself talk. If he needs some relief, he'll get a massage.

[NamaewaChain]

Originally Posted by SimpleasThyme

Ask her out for something to eat.

Confess your feelings. Tell her you know it might make her uncomfortable, but you just need to confess for your own sake. Then tell her you're willing to wait until those feelings can be returned.

Being honest with yourself and others is always the best way of doing things. Perhaps she'll be with you, or maybe she won't. Either way you will feel a lot better than you do now.

Haha really bad idea, you'll just creep her out. The willing to wait part makes things even more awkward when she sees you everyday... >.> Knowing that you have feelings for her. But then again there might be a very very small chance it could work and she'll go omg really I <3 u too. Nah.. not very likely.
Just go with the flow, keep talking to her. Try to get her to open up a bit more. And if she start talking about like how much free time she has or she has nothing fun to do, it's a good chance to ask her out. But before that figure out her relationship status. I've had my experience with work romance ended with ehh.. o wellz love is war :B

p.s. never meet the girl's childhood (male)friends, Dam anime scenarios.