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05-25-2011, 03:03 PM
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 my gf is not dumb, just dumber than me, there's a world of difference between those two things lol, that and she's a LOT less experienced in life than I am, a lot of that us due to the age difference but also culturally, Japanese kids tend to stay childish and immature and live with their parents much longer than western kids. I've been living alone since I was 16, she moved out last year and still depends on her parents for a lot. 
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05-25-2011, 03:22 PM
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If we're talking nowadays, I don't think Western kids move out of their parent's at what I'd call a "young age", due to economical difficulties. Besides, living by yourself doesn't make you smart (as opposed to dumb). But I know that what you meant to say is the experience you carry shows when compared to hers, so you're ok with making decisions that may seem hard for her to even contemplate. How much age difference in your case, if I may ask? (you don't have to say your age or hers, just about the difference in years, like about 10 or 20). everything is relative and contradictory ~
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05-25-2011, 03:29 PM
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it does make me wiser though, that's what I was getting at.I'm 27, living on my own for 11 years, she's 24, living on her own (with me) for 11 months. Hardly on her own I might add, a big jump for her going from parents to me, but still not quite independent. Really though, if my gf was wiser or smarter etc I'd have no qualms letting her drive while I take a nap I do admire her will to learn though! And yes, confidence certainly isn't something I'm lacking, as bad a thing as that is.
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05-25-2011, 03:55 PM
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PS. Many parents over here would be happy if their kids left their place before hitting 25. Believe me, 25 is not a late age to go live by yourself. I got plenty of friends who are close to 30 and are still living with their parents, and it's pretty much so everywhere else. everything is relative and contradictory ~
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05-25-2011, 06:51 PM
Wow, this thread was revived again?
No surprise to me, or anyone else that I know of, things haven't changed in my relationships except for the person(s) involved. Dominant - yes Controlling - as little as necessary And the only worthy partner is another dominant personality who just chooses to defer to me.   Only an open mind and open heart can be filled with life. ********************* Find your voice; silence will not protect you.
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05-26-2011, 02:18 AM
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at least that's what happened with me. You may be entirely different and honestly prefer to be alone?Quote:
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05-26-2011, 08:00 AM
James do you give your girl friend a chance to be more independent of you.
How about giving her opportunities-- to do things she wishes to do. My daughters husband was a control freak-- she put up with it for ten years-- her life was not her own. Everyone was supposed to do what He demanded. One partner should not think they own the other. There should be give and take and also encouragement and freedom. Not putting the other down. Mutal respect is important also. Not-- Oh I am better than you but I will be kind to you.
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05-26-2011, 01:32 PM
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I'm no no way like that, in fact I push her to be more independent and she doesn't like it, this is somewhat typical of Japanese women though, to want to be taken care of, from the under the parents' wing to the husbands. I'm used to strong independent decisive women in Canada, it's somewhat hard for me to adjust to the relatively submissive indecisive women here.
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05-27-2011, 08:07 AM
I would say my girl and I are equal. we are each good at certain things and not so good in others. ex . I'm musically gifted, have a great memory, terrible at scientific/mathematic things, good writer, un coordinated, can't cook . She has a short attention span, skilled in science and math, great cook, a great drinker even tho i got 70lbs on her (embarassingly she can drink almost as much as I can, sometimes more.....but shes of German descent and Im of Japanese descent so that could be genetics .....thats my excuse lol.
and RealJames I know what you mean. I grew up and live in America only seeing American girls....when I went to Japan when i was 18 I was curious about girls of my race but I was quickly turned off by general immaturity of girls my age. From what I saw American (I cant say Western as I dont know too many girls from Europe) women are much more open and free spirited whereas Japanese girls were more reserved, childlike and bound by social rules.....kind of like how in America kids are bound by stupid social rules in middle and high school....but in Japan social rules are society wide regardless of age. im sure thats where the difference stems from. When I was in Japan I was much more attracted to older women, DAMN THEY WERE SEXY....I didnt find girls my age appealing but the women 25 or older were soooooo sexy cus they were more composed, dress nicer and more mature. i'm in college now and the Japanese chicks I meet here are 'girls' whereas the other chicks are 'women' to me. sorry to say but thats how i see it
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