Romance in Japan... Is reality always bitter?

[minimin]

Manga's fantasy, so how could it possibly compare to reality?? Everyones perfect in movies and books, but in reality, everyone has flaws even in Japan, everywhere. I personally like to read manga's nice stories, nice characters, but I don't think much more than that.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Keaton421

Actually, my (Japanese) girlfriend has said this a lot too.

She says that in physique, Japanese males look weak (silly, effeminate hairstyles and stupid trendy clothes), and they don't possess qualities she considers manly, like any southern gentleman should be an expert in - independence, unwavering loyalty, honesty and honor, utmost respect for women, chivalry, fatherly qualities, decisive, stuff like that.

Japanese guys tend to be effeminate, clingy, and immature. And in general, they really don't know how to make a woman happy - they're mama's boys.

You won't read this in any book, but she said that Japanese men still subscribe to the Samurai way of treating women, as compared to the European knight; it's alright to love your wife and defend her honor, but you're above her and you shouldn't show too much love.

Her words, not mine

I think your or your girlfriend's perceptions are as valid as an anime.

Seriously that's some ego you've got there. Reminds me of the South Park episode when the Japanese manage to inflitrate America by telling the Americans they all have big penises.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by TomoyaIchigo

Like I asked... is reality always bitter? I dun think so... I have seen such guy n girl outside... but ya... obviously it's rare... but I was jux wondering if they r common in Japan...

Plus, hey you know what? Literature and Noval (or even manga) reflects the real culture of the writer's native country.

Yes, reality is often bittersweet. People make stupid choices in novels.

I'd say literature more accurately reflects the author's fantasies than reality.

Most of the plot are based on school life and they were written as if japanese guys are either perverted or really idiot who doesn't even know what a girl want. On the other hand, the girls, in manga, are very pretty, yet they fight each other to be GF of those good-for-nothing male lead.

This is actually 100% true. Guys are, more often than not, perverted idiots. But if they're attractive or confident enough, girls will swarm over a guy that'll treat them like dirt. They're seeking to avoid puppy-dog wimpy guys, and in the process hit the other end of the spectrum - complete assholes. I'm not blaming women, but these days it must be difficult to find a decent man.

I know most of japan guys are really bright and talented.

What?

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

I think your or your girlfriend's perceptions are as valid as an anime.

Seriously that's some ego you've got there. Reminds me of the South Park episode when the Japanese manage to inflitrate America by telling the Americans they all have big penises.

Bwahahaha. I don't even know where to start.

You're telling me my girlfriend, who's Japanese born and bred, has perceptions about as valid as a cartoon? You, sir, are an idiot.

I know you've got a hard-on for the Japanese, but if you feel that your knowledge about Japanese males is better than a Japanese girl's, please, don't let me stop you brother. Have you dated enough Japanese men to know better than her?

Twat.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Keaton421

Bwahahaha. I don't even know where to start.

You're telling me my girlfriend, who's Japanese born and bred, has perceptions about as valid as a cartoon? You, sir, are an idiot.

I know you've got a hard-on for the Japanese, but if you feel that your knowledge about Japanese males is better than a Japanese girl's, please, don't let me stop you brother.

While she might come from a position which she can speak about the subject with some insight... if those words you wrote are indeed hers, and if she was speaking on behalf of ALL Japanese women rather than just herself then yes.. her perceptions are as valid as an anime's.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

While she might come from a position which she can speak about the subject with some insight... if those words you wrote are indeed hers, and if she was speaking on behalf of ALL Japanese women rather than just herself then yes.. her perceptions are as valid as an anime's.

I'm glad you rephrased your argument.

No, she's not speaking on behalf of all Japanese women. Did I ever say she did? Cridgit asked for some insight, and I gave insight on the subject from the only Japanese female that I have contact with on a regular basis. A very modest female who doesn't pretend to speak for anyone but herself.

[Ronin4hire]

Originally Posted by Keaton421

I'm glad you rephrased your argument.

No, she's not speaking on behalf of all Japanese women. Did I ever say she did? Cridgit asked for some insight, and I gave insight on the subject from the only Japanese female that I have contact with on a regular basis. A very modest female who doesn't pretend to speak for anyone but herself.

Well I felt that you presented her perceptions in a matter of fact way.

Whatever the truth is. There are "manly" Japanese males in the way you've described.

Which in your words means being "independent, of unwavering loyalty, honesty and honor, utmost respect for women, chivalry, fatherly qualities, decisive, stuff like that."

That goes for physique too.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

Well I felt that you presented her perceptions in a matter of fact way.

Whatever the truth is. There are "manly" Japanese males in the way you've described.

Which in your words means being "independent, of unwavering loyalty, honesty and honor, utmost respect for women, chivalry, fatherly qualities, decisive, stuff like that."

That goes for physique too.

I always present things matter of factly. It's a fact that she perceives Japanese males to be unmanly - it is not a fact that there are no manly Japanese males - I didn't think such an obvious point needed to be argued. But it's also a fact that the same values and ideals are not instilled in Japanese men as are men from other countries. And Japanese men tend to be shorter and have weaker physiques than their white and black counterparts. Tend to.

Seeing as how I'm not Japanese and I don't know any Japanese males, I didn't feel as if I needed to inject my personal opinion on the matter.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by Keaton421

She says that in physique, Japanese males look weak (silly, effeminate hairstyles and stupid trendy clothes), and they don't possess qualities she considers manly, like any southern gentleman should be an expert in - independence, unwavering loyalty, honesty and honor, utmost respect for women, chivalry, fatherly qualities, decisive, stuff like that.

Japanese men tend to have smaller physiques than men from some other countries, but "weak" is a judgment call. So is "silly" and "effeminate". Her tastes are obviously coming into play here, and it is clear (after seeing pictures you posted) why she is dating you and not a "typical" Japanese guy.

If all Japanese women thought this way of all Japanese men, this island country would have been decimated ages ago.

[Keaton421]

Originally Posted by MMM

Japanese men tend to have smaller physiques than men from some other countries, but "weak" is a judgment call. So is "silly" and "effeminate". Her tastes are obviously coming into play here, and it is clear (after seeing pictures you posted) why she is dating you and not a "typical" Japanese guy.

If all Japanese women thought this way of all Japanese men, this island country would have been decimated ages ago.

Shoot yeah. I wouldn't apply the word weak, personally, and I've heard they're getting taller these days. Her tastes are definitely coming into play, but I have to agree, even Japanese fashion and models stress coolness in a more feminine way, with the slender bodies and feathered bangs and stuff.