Would you like to have a japanese boyfriend? Why?

[OHayou]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

One of the biggest problems I have with saying you want to be with a specific nationality is that it puts too much weight on something that cannot possibly support a relationship alone.

Japanese people are people... Who just happen to be Japanese. The same variety is there, just with "Japanese" in place of whatever other nationality.

Way too many people look at "Japanese" as if it is going to have a huge effect on all those other traits that people normally look at in a love interest. "If he/she is Japanese, they will have these traits that I want!" sort of thing. It is stereotyping and leads to a lot of bad endings to relationships. I can't even begin to count the number of times I have seen or heard about people who wanted to date someone Japanese, so jumped at the first chance they got... Only to find out that the image they had formed of a Japanese man or woman was absolutely nothing like the individual they were dating. And sometimes this realization came too late after they jumped to get married or had a baby.

It really shouldn't be given any more weight than hair or eye color, really. No one would dream of thinking that every girl with green eyes is going to be devoted and submissive... Nor that every guy with blonde hair is going to be a great outdoorsman, etc. It is just as silly as thinking that every Japanese person is going to adhere to some stereotypical view that has been formed based on whatever is the popular image at the time in the west.
The only thing that you can be pretty safe assuming about someone Japanese is that their natural hair color is most likely black, and their natural eye color brown.

There was a girl I read on here who lives in Japan now who wrote:

"That pretty much started my dream to go to Japan - It seemed like somewhere that I could be me and find happiness."

Now if this girl who lived in another country dreamed of going to Japan so she could be herself in a country that is 99.9% Japanese and find happiness why is it such a shock that another girl in another country feels that she has a natural affinity to a specific culture like the Japanese culture?

Also, in America the divorce rate is near 50%. People have ideas on what a relationship is going to be and for whatever reason it doesn't work out. It might be different cultural ideas in some cases like those you listed but in America where most likely both are Americans it's going to be a different reason.

The point is there is always a reason but that in itself is not enough to form an all-encompassing argument as to why someone cannot feel a natural inclination towards a specific culture and country and want to immerse themselves in it including a relationship with one of it's occupants.

[Lallyzippo]

Well, it's one thing to say that you are attracted to certain look, because it happens. But because they were born in a different culture? Wouldn't that make it more difficult for a relationship?

I mean, it always depends on the people involved, but me and my boyfriend share some similar values and ways of thinking. Even then though, we have lapses where we get frustrated by the cultural/religious differences.

It sounds like when people imagine someone they have a crush on...they don't necessarily know that person, but in one's own mind they make their crushes seem way more wonderful and compatible to themselves. With someone of a different culture/language it may take longer to figure out the person's flaws and issues because of barriers.

[Hikaru92]

I dated two Japanese guys and both failed! Let me tell you my dating experience with them.

The first time I had a Japanese boyfriend, I was a high school sophomore. We would always argue about communication. He didn't like phone calls as much as I did. Plus he didn't like saying "I love you" very much. He was more non-verbal in showing affections. Unfortunately, I'm both verbal and non-verbal so honestly I expect my partner to be the same. Also he would always cry everytime I failed to appreciate his efforts. It really turned me off. It was a melodramatic break up but I managed to tell him all of my thoughts so now we're very good friends.

Then I dated this Japanese guy in college for like three months because he was very consistent. Then all of a sudden out of the blue he broke up with me telling "I don't like you anymore. You're not Japanese." (No exaggeration) As if it's a secret that I am non-Japanese. Then two weeks after our alleged break-up he dated another girl, a Japanese one. And he wasn't done breaking my heart yet he posted some hate notes on mixi about me just because I opened my feelings to my friends. Well I thought all of them were really my friends, some turned out to be his allies! Anyways, we're still on bad terms and it got me depressed for months.

So, if you're going to ask me whether to date a Japanese guy, hmmm for now NO!

Additional info: Seeing my parents divorce (Japanese dad and non-Japanese mom) it's convincing not to prefer a Japanese person! That's all. Apologies for the negativity.

[ellyelenna]

I had a friend from Japan, we met through a forum and we started talking about all sorts of things especially hobbies.Two days later I swapped address the forum not to mention things that had nothing in common with New Posts. I don't know how he managed to call me there, in Japan, but I found myself talking to someone in English and I had no idea who he is because I don't have many American or British friends in phone. Then he told me his name and I realized with who I was talking.I liked talking to him. Every time we talk ,he said:Come to Japan, I know you want ... and he still teasing me with this beacause he knows that my parents would not let me. Maybe I'll go there with my future 'career' .........who knows?...................

[UsuiTakumai]

Love Is Pain In The Ass -_-

that's my opinion so don't let it bother you

[ellyelenna]

thank's for support ......well I concluded that the love it's somehow a stupid think ,I really don't believe in it anymore

[Londonsakura]

I think many foreign women find it difficult to find a Japanese boyfriend because they find they are too shy. Or is it really because most Japanese men prefer Japanese women? I think ultimately it boils down to individual preferences and love and attraction is something we can't control.

[loveinjapanese2014]

Japanese girl are tend to be nicer. What i know they are good to their husband since the past. I am not sure this apply to this 21th century. And yes, i love their japanese food, music and anime

[termogard]

Yes, I have friends in Japan. We belong to different cultures and live in different countries but share the same interests.

[Aoyagi]

Yes, but only if he's a good man. I don't care too much for looks, just respect,maturity,docility, and humor. Cultural similarities would be a must as well, but it's not like I'll ONLY date Japanese or Russian [I'm half of each] guys. Korean, Chinese, Taiwanese, Polish, Ukrainian, even some others. But there's gotta be SOME things we've in common. Enough to be comfortable with.