Arranged Marriage ...

TyreaL · (#1 (**permalink**))

Since the day you were born , your entire life doesn't belong to you anymore , it belongs to your parents that decided the route of your , planned everything , your school , university , career , and marriage ..

is it tribal traditions ? or what ?

Some said that it''s better that way ..

what do you think ?

Yuusuke · (#2 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by TyreaL

Since the day you were born , your entire life doesn't belong to you anymore , it belongs to your parents that decided the route of your , planned everything , your school , university , career , and marriage ..

is it tribal traditions ? or what ?

Some said that it''s better that way ..

what do you think ?

I do not at all 100 percent think it's better that way at all.

maybe if they plan the basic child stuff I can see. Its pretty much happen to all of us.

But the more important things such as My Career, my university and my love shouldn't be put up to them.

Regardless of culture or customs, I feel those important steps in life should be left up to the person.

Sachiko · (#3 (**permalink**))

One of my best girlfriends is in an arranged marriage and there's not much that can really be done about it. To be honest I'm trying to see some good that comes out of it, because well, in a few years that will be her reality.
Rather than telling her how terrible I think it is, so that when it happens she's left thinking "why me, when all my friends are free from this kind of pressure?" I've tried to look at the good in it.
I'm all for making your own choices, but as these circumstances are unavoidable, what's the use in making things more ominous and scary for a person going through the process. Until (and unless) I am in her position I can't fully understand the concept of someone choosing the person i spend my life with, however I will support her no matter her family's decision because she is my friend, and standing by your mates is what I believe to be right.

ozkai · (#4 (**permalink**))

Arramged marriages are a real cultural thing.

I do however think that some cultures are absolutely disgusting forcing 12 year old girls to wed Oji san.

That happens in Afghanistan and other Muslim nations.

Aniki · (#5 (**permalink**))

Arranged marriages aren't that bad as many might think. They save the you the time (and money), that is: no first date, no gifts, no need to spend 6-10 months living together just to get know each other.

If the girl is good-looking I wouldn't mind having an arranged marriage myself.

iPhantom · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aniki

If the girl is good-looking I wouldn't mind having an arranged marriage myself.

You don't love your current gf, do you?

Sangetsu · (#7 (**permalink**))

Parents arrange the lives of their children because they care for them. Any parents with common sense raise their children so that the children had a better life than they did. Young people tend to resent this interference, but when they become older they realize that the intentions behind it were good.

As for arranged marriages, why not? So many people marry out of love, and find out later that though they loved each other in the beginning, this love wasn't enough to overcome other differences. In many case, the love vanishes and is replaced by resentment, and even hate.

My girlfriend's grandparents "suffered" an arranged marriage. They had never met each when their parents began talking about arranging the marriage, and were only able to meet a couple times before the marriage took place. They learned to love each other in the years that followed their marriage, which turned out to be happy and prosperous.

Ryzorian · (#8 (**permalink**))

Depends on why they arrange them I think, in some instances they really do try to arrange what they hope is both a happy and healthy relationship based on past experiance. Most marriages were arranged historically, it's only since the age of "Enlightenment" where chooseing yourself became common. Even then, if you were to look across the globe..arranged marriage is still by far the most utilized type.

For your friend, what are her parents like and what is the cultural background? Both those factors can play into why the arrangement is made.

Sinestra · (#9 (**permalink**))

I believe you advance through life because of the choices you make not choices someone else makes for you before your born or even before you can even comprehend what love and marriage are. We grow from our experience in life and that may include finding the wrong person because if the relationship does not work out you were still able to grow and learn from the experience. Arranged marriages are really a cultural thing however they go against what i believe not that they are wrong i just dont believe in them. I also think they are archaic. After all i doubt the man down the street is marrying his daughter off to some heir apparent of a nation that bridges the gap and prevents war.

Iv know two people in my life who were arranged to be married. Lets just say i met them after they fled from home to another country.

bELyVIS · (#10 (**permalink**))

My Mother in law and Father in law had an arranged marriage. They have been married 47 years and are happy. My Mother in law said it was strange at first, but she grew to love him. Love clouds your reasoning anyway.