Getting a japanese girlfriend

[bELyVIS]

If you feel you want to marry a Japanese lady, go for it. I thought I would never get to meet a Japanese lady so I settled for a American lady. Boy was I sorry. After my divorce I moved to Japan and met many nice Japanese ladies and married my wife.
Most of your problem is self confidence. You must be confident to impress Japanese women. Japanese men are too shy and they like confidence.
Being black means nothing. Not all women like black men, but not all women like white, Mexican, Polish, etc...... The only problem you might run into is if her parents don't want you to marry her and she won't date you if she is sure this will happen. A black friend of mine is married to a Japanese lady here and in Japan, one of the best "ladies man" I knew was black. So don't use this as an excuse to chicken out.
Follow your dream, it usually is right.

[iPhantom]

Originally Posted by alanX

Sexual attraction plays an important part in long term relationships. Not even going to post you a link to a source, because there's too many on the internet to choose from.

If you're attracted to a Japanese woman, and start a relationship (Just a friendly one at first) with a Japanese woman based off of the attraction, who do you have more of a chance to fall in love with, a Japanese woman or a Jewish man? It's not really debatable...

But I honestly do understand the point you're making, and I understand where you're coming from. I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but more of simply adding to the truth.
Sexual attraction is intertwined with love, like it or not. It's the way it is.

Yes, you CAN love a black girl, even if you are more sexually attracted to whites, but it's not probable, and it probably wouldn't last very long.

And I quote from number 4 of a top 10 list of why marriages fail:

"4. Sex Problems
Sex is an important part of marriage and the source of many marriage problems. Every marriage requires the act of consummation by sexual intercourse. Failure to consummate a marriage or problems with sexual frequency, quality, and infidelity are all common reasons for marriage failure and divorce."

Top 10 Reasons Marriages Fail | Divorce.com

Frankly, If you're banging a black chick, and want to be banging a Japanese chick, you're probably not too into the black chick sexually. Thus, if you're not too into the black chick sexually, (no pun intended) then it could probably lead to not being into her at all.

All in all, if you're attracted to Japanese women, and that's really all you go for, then you don't really have a chance to fall in love with any other type of women in the first place.

Sorry for unnecessary elaboration, I just like this subject.

Marriage is not necessary love. I was merely pointing out that love is not based on ethnicity. If you fall in love with a black chick, you would certainly last long enough. But let's not go further, since this is not helpful to the thread at all.

[RickOShay]

Originally Posted by Brass

I have pretty much known all along that my destiny was to be with a Japanese woman, kind of an instinct, that is the type of woman and culture that I am compatible with.

If that is the way you feel I say go for it man, but do not close yourself off to other great possibilities you may run into on the way. Also, you may find that dating with and being married to a Japanese women has a lot more, or different stresses than you may have being married to someone from your own country. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Originally Posted by Brass

1. At this time of my life I have no Japanese friends or contacts to even have a chance of meeting a nice Japanese lady.

I would say the internet is your best bet then. Japanese-Western dating sites are all over the place. My only other suggestion would be for you to come to Japan for work, or as a student. Your chances will increase greatly by default, and you will get a much better sense if this kind of thing is as desirable as you feel it is now.

Originally Posted by Brass

3. I am black, so I know this is going to lower my chances even further.

Umm, I hardly think that is true. You have been misinformed.

[Sangetsu]

Love knows no race, and if you begin choosing from a certain race you are probably not going to pay attention to more important considerations.

Getting a Japanese girlfriend is about as easy as falling down. But, finding one whom you love and who loves you back is much more difficult.

I'm sorry to say that most western men I know who are in relationships with Japanese women are not happy. Men tend to marry for love or sex, Japanese women often marry for the sake of being married, and have less of an emotional attachment. I've heard so many times from acquaintances who are married to Japanese women about how unhappy they are in their relationships, the absence of sex, and other issues.

The foremost thing you should be looking for in a partner is mutual love, not race.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

I'm sorry to say that most western men I know who are in relationships with Japanese women are not happy. Men tend to marry for love or sex, Japanese women often marry for the sake of being married, and have less of an emotional attachment. I've heard so many times from acquaintances who are married to Japanese women about how unhappy they are in their relationships, the absence of sex, and other issues.

You're right, that happens. Sometimes.
You're leaving out half of the story, which I don't think is very fair.

Saying: "Japanese women often marry for the sake of being married, and have less of an emotional attachment."

Is an extremely blind assumption in my opinion.
Japanese or not, women don't just go around marrying for no reason.

You're making it seem like Japanese woman are a loveless people that go out and marry people they met ten minutes ago.

I'd say, quite the contrary.

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

Getting a Japanese girlfriend is about as easy as falling down. But, finding one whom you love and who loves you back is much more difficult.

I'd strongly disagree with this.
Finding a Japanese woman that loves you is just as hard as finding a woman of ANY race that loves you.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by Ronin4hire

dont expect anything deep.

Why do you think so?

My Japanese fiance and I are madly in love.
But then again, maybe she's having an online/in person relationship with someone from another hemisphere for the past 4 years, spending thousands of dollars to visit me every year, maybe that's not deep? Maybe she's doing it for the sake of "being in a relationship?"

Maybe my Japanese fiancee's sister is married to an Australian man for the past 17 years "just to be in a relationship." And maybe her daughter is a product of "just being in a relationship."

And maybe my best friend's Japanese girlfriend is in a relationship just for the sake of it. And maybe bELyVIS's wife is in it for just for the sake of "being in a relationship." Maybe my Japanese lady friend Kumi is engaged to a man from France for "the sake of being in a relationship."

I'm not one to shut down another person's opinions, but frankly the opinions I've been reading in this thread are just ridiculously stupid and not to mention, very far from reality, down right absurd. Especially that of Ronin4hire and Sangetsu. If you asked me, they are the one's living in a fantasy world.

Seems to me like Ronin4hire and Sangetsu think Japan is a loveless nation.

Originally Posted by Sangetsu

The foremost thing you should be looking for in a partner is mutual love, not race.

Take the following scenario:
You're attracted to Japanese females.

You're at a bar. You see two females, both alone. One is Japanese, and one is Black.
Which one are you going to start a conversation with? Easy, the Japanese.
Then, you start a relationship with the Japanese female.
You won't start a relationship with the black female because you are not attracted to black women.

Have you ever been in a relationship? Not third grade puppy love, but an actual relationship?

What you're looking for is what you'll look for. I don't think you, or anyone else is in any place to tell anyone "what they should be looking for."

[alanX]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

That was probably.. the most retarded argument.. I have ever seen.. LOL

What happened to Ronins awesome comment? That Will Smith line was the funniest sh*t I'v read on JF in months.

Who's arguing? It's called a debate. It's what people do on forums.
No one's asking for your immature comments, and no one's making you post here if you don't like it.

[Nyororin]

I think what is trying to be said is that you shouldn`t expect a deep relationship when you are going out with someone just because of their race/nationality - and they are going out with you because of yours. Once the novelty wears off chances are there won`t be anything left to hold the relationship together.

There are a LOT of guys in Japan dating Japanese girls because they have an Asian fetish. And the majority of girls who date them do so because they have a foreigner fetish. When that is all there is to the relationship, things usually don`t last all that long - and if one side really has fallen in love but the other hasn`t... Things end very badly.

Normal relationships exist, but the thing is... They tend to be the exception. And most of them are founded on friendship then love instead of a racial fetish.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by JoshAussie

That was probably.. the most retarded argument.. I have ever seen.. LOL

What happened to Ronins awesome comment? That Will Smith line was the funniest sh*t I'v read on JF in months.

It would have stayed here if he hadn`t dropped to poorly veiled personal insults.

[alanX]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

It would have stayed here if he hadn`t dropped to poorly veiled personal insults.

Yes.
This is a healthy debate, that I would like to continue!
Let's keep it at least 10th grade because I am enjoying this discussion.