Japanese views on dating

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

what about dancing. Many partners are met at dances of some kind

That's deffinately true for the older generation, my own grandparents met at a dance, and I think most people of their generation did, but I don't know anyone under 40 that has met their long-term partner at a dance. Plus, aside from nightclubs, I don't think that people attend anything similiar to a 'dance' anymore . . . I could be wrong, and I'm sure there's an exception to every rule, but I don't think it's generally a way of meeting potential partners these days.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by BakaTensei

I have always wondered how you would go about asking someone out in japan, for example in Northern Ireland its usually through school, a friend or drinking. We NEVER walk up to someone on the street and ask for their number but I've heard that in America they would do that. Whats the "usual" way of developing a relationship with someone when your in the country

I have never heard of anyone walking up to someone in the street and asking for a phone number in the US. That would take real guts.

[BakaTensei]

haha Maybe I heard wrong then ^_^ can't imagine anyone doing it myself

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by RobinMask

That's deffinately true for the older generation, my own grandparents met at a dance, and I think most people of their generation did, but I don't know anyone under 40 that has met their long-term partner at a dance. Plus, aside from nightclubs, I don't think that people attend anything similiar to a 'dance' anymore . . . I could be wrong, and I'm sure there's an exception to every rule, but I don't think it's generally a way of meeting potential partners these days.

Is that right Robin. Our gr daughters go clubbing pretty often-- they have plenty of boyfriends.

it certainly used to be a way to meet the opposite sex. I imagine that in UNI there are plenty of those!!


Then socialising must be wonderful surely. I actually met my husband at an evening class-- doing Scottish dancing. We loved it-- and it used to be a major part of our lives as the children were growing up.

Also what about sport-- where both sexes enjoy the same sport as yourself.

also the work place? School, college? Local pub or club etc.

No doubt also social networking must also be a place to get to meet someone with similar interests.

[dogsbody70]

what about business cards. Isn't that what the Japanese use to introduce each other and leave their personal information?

Maybe we should adapt that?

[MMM]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

what about business cards. Isn't that what the Japanese use to introduce each other and leave their personal information?

Maybe we should adapt that?

Sure, in business situations. I don't see young people exchanging business cards in night clubs.

[dogsbody70]

Many moons ago--


when I was travelling back home on a train after a concert in London-- an RAF chap asked me for my details------------------ He rang the next day-- but I was too busy to go and meet him. HA HA.

[missprincess]

have to commend dogsbody on your principles im defo of the view that sex can wait till after marriage! in england were now starting to get two extremes, those ppl who sleep around alot and those who completely want to put it off till after marriage, and to be honest the later gets more respect. i love it when women have attitudes like that esp when you see models like adriana lima come out and say she was a virgin till she got married (even if she lied) the fact that she said it made it ok to be hot and someone who wants to save themselves for marriage (usually ppl think if u havent done 'it' by a certain age its coz u cant get any) but she proved that wrong and attitudes are starting to change! more power to that way of thinking in my opinion!

i think all women shud make men wait till marriage that way men would have to marry women and not just sleep with them and leave them like most of them do.

[missprincess]

btw i know this is a japan forum but does anyone know if the views differ in korea (south) and whether there are still arranged marriages in japan?
thanks

[cranks]

Originally Posted by missprincess

btw i know this is a japan forum but does anyone know if the views differ in korea (south) and whether there are still arranged marriages in japan?
thanks

I can't speak for Korea but I think there is a general misconception about "arranged marriage" in Japan. So called "arranged marriage = お見合い" is more like a dating approved by parents and in most cases they are not really "arranged" to be married. Both potential groom and bride get kind of like a CV of each other and if they are interested, both families will have a lunch together. If they don't hit it off, or their parents don't like some member of the other family, they usually never meet again. Otherwise, they'll start dating and in many cases, get married. Kind of like an online dating site with the parents involved. Of course, I've heard from my mom that the social pressure to young girls to get married was much stronger 40 years ago, but this is not exactly what the English word "arranged marriage" means as far as I know.

That said, there are still couples, about 7%, who meet and get married through "お見合い" in Japan.