Interracial Relationships

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

Yeah I have a few friends here who ask me if I have black (women) friends they could go out with.
I'm not 100% on the trophy concept, but at times it does seem that way, I could be wrong honestly.

EDIT:
I just want to add that given how few black women are in Japan, it doesn't take much of a fraction of Japanese men to be attracted to them to completely create a deficit of women lol

I am thinking that maybe it is more likely an interest in something that is very rare in Japan, but not as a "trophy".

A trophy wife is generally considered a beautiful woman in her 20s who doesn't want kids married a rich man in his 50s or above.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

I am thinking that maybe it is more likely an interest in something that is very rare in Japan, but not as a "trophy".

A trophy wife is generally considered a beautiful woman in her 20s who doesn't want kids married a rich man in his 50s or above.

Hmm yeah you're right, I'm thinking more of a status symbol.

[inuzuki8605]

So I guess, by MMM's definition, it would be safe to say that NO WOMAN would be a trophy wife to the Japanese man then, right? When I read RealJames's comment about that, I was just thinking about them showing off a foreign woman that is a pretty darn rare catch in Japan.

It is true. When I lived in Japan, other than the black girls I went to school with (one from Africa and one from France) I saw a black person a month or not even if I didn't go to the bigger city that month. Needless to say, I got a lot of stares. But surprising, I got a lot of attention from Japanese men (unfortunately I had a boyfriend in the states to nothing happened). Even a group of high school boys where calling out to me one day (that was funny). But that doesn't tell me if it would end there or would they really think of something more serious, marriage.

I guess the times are changing little by little and it's starting to depend a little more on the individual.

RealJames you are absolutely right though. There is only one race in the world. Only the mind makes us truly different.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by inuzuki8605

So I guess, by MMM's definition, it would be safe to say that NO WOMAN would be a trophy wife to the Japanese man then, right?

I don't think that is what I said, but let's go back to what a "trophy wife" is: generally it is a much younger, traditionally beautiful woman that an older, less attractive but rich man can land because he can give her the lifestyle she wants.

Obviously these are superficial relationships, and is why you have very rich men, like Donald Trump, who have been married multiple times.

So there are two questions: 1) Does this happen in Japan? 2) Would an African American woman fit the description?

1) I don't know. I think men like Donald Trump need to be married as it is part of what is expected of them, like owning a limo or a private jet. It is a part of being a complete man (in that world of thinking). I don't know if that is as true in Japan... private lives are much more private, and infidelity, casual dating and discreet services can take place with little fear of exposure usually.

2) The idea of a trophy is it sits on the mantle, is nice to look at, but keeps her mouth shut. My impression is that almost any foreign woman would have a hard time fitting that IMAGE.

I am not sure what circles you plan on running around in, but I don't know any men in Japan who dated a woman just to show her off to his friends. That would be rather superficial.

[inuzuki8605]

Originally Posted by MMM

I don't think that is what I said, but let's go back to what a "trophy wife" is: generally it is a much younger, traditionally beautiful woman that an older, less attractive but rich man can land because he can give her the lifestyle she wants.

Obviously these are superficial relationships, and is why you have very rich men, like Donald Trump, who have been married multiple times.

So there are two questions: 1) Does this happen in Japan? 2) Would an African American woman fit the description?

1) I don't know. I think men like Donald Trump need to be married as it is part of what is expected of them, like owning a limo or a private jet. It is a part of being a complete man (in that world of thinking). I don't know if that is as true in Japan... private lives are much more private, and infidelity, casual dating and discreet services can take place with little fear of exposure usually.

2) The idea of a trophy is it sits on the mantle, is nice to look at, but keeps her mouth shut. My impression is that almost any foreign woman would have a hard time fitting that IMAGE.

I am not sure what circles you plan on running around in, but I don't know any men in Japan who dated a woman just to show her off to his friends. That would be rather superficial.

So you didn't answer your own second question.... You basically confirmed what I said before about how NO WOMEN of the western world, black, white, American Asian, or otherwise, would fit the description of a "Trophy Wife" in Japan because of our personality and not our skin color. Your right, that would be superficial and doesn't really happen that often in Japanese society not even with Japanese couples (it would be too much like bragging). So in reality, it's not about being African American but being Western　かな？

I don't think I ever said that I, personally, knew any men that liked to show off their women. I said that's what I thought about RealJames comment. However, I will say that the times are, indeed, changing and Japanese men in my generation (ages 18 - 28)are starting to be a lot more open minded about things. I guess I'll see for sure when I go back, huh?

[RealJames]

I'm gonna place my bets on:

If you come here looking for a nice man to marry you, and if your Japanese is good enough to be a housewife, and if you are comfortable with playing that role.
Then, you can get hitched and be a part of this society almost completely, with the usual gaijin disclaimers, of course.

Trophy or not, the guy would feel more special than his counterparts for having a non-asian wife, that said he may even be less likely to cheat on you than they.

[MMM]

Originally Posted by inuzuki8605

So you didn't answer your own second question.... You basically confirmed what I said before about how NO WOMEN of the western world, black, white, American Asian, or otherwise, would fit the description of a "Trophy Wife" in Japan because of our personality and not our skin color. Your right, that would be superficial and doesn't really happen that often in Japanese society not even with Japanese couples (it would be too much like bragging). So in reality, it's not about being African American but being Western　かな？

I don't think I ever said that I, personally, knew any men that liked to show off their women. I said that's what I thought about RealJames comment. However, I will say that the times are, indeed, changing and Japanese men in my generation (ages 18 - 28)are starting to be a lot more open minded about things. I guess I'll see for sure when I go back, huh?

I think I answered the second question pretty clearly. The IMAGE of a foreign woman, especially a Western woman, probably does not jibe with the IMAGE of a "trophy wife" in Japan (if that even exists).

In other words, I doubt a Japanese man would choose a Western woman as a trophy wife, if that is what he was looking for.

And since you are talking about 18-28, the point is probably moot. They are way too young to be thinking about women in that way.

Originally Posted by RealJames

Trophy or not, the guy would feel more special than his counterparts for having a non-asian wife, that said he may even be less likely to cheat on you than they.

Why would an Asian man feel more special for having a non-Asian wife.

[Nyororin]

Originally Posted by MMM

Why would an Asian man feel more special for having a non-Asian wife.

Whether he feels special about it himself is up for debate - there is special treatment given to a man who has a foreign wife. Just like there is special treatment for women with foreign husbands.

Kind of like if a someone has a husband or wife who is/was a model or who is extremely attractive. The relationship may have absolutely nothing to do with that, but when other people (same gender friends in particular) hear about it - there is going to be a difference in the way they treat that person... and a different peer reaction if the friend cheats on their spouse.

[inuzuki8605]

Originally Posted by MMM

I think I answered the second question pretty clearly. The IMAGE of a foreign woman, especially a Western woman, probably does not jibe with the IMAGE of a "trophy wife" in Japan (if that even exists).

In other words, I doubt a Japanese man would choose a Western woman as a trophy wife, if that is what he was looking for.

And since you are talking about 18-28, the point is probably moot. They are way too young to be thinking about women in that way.

In your second question you said, "Would an African American woman fit the description?" In your answer, you generalized it to ALL WESTERN women. Forgive me, but not all Western women are African American women. So you didn't answer your own question. But really, it doesn't matter.

I think Nyororin has a good point. Even in America, interracial couples are looked at differently, even admired in some cases. Also, I love RealJames's post. I'm not sure if I am total housewife material but, with my profession, I'd be more of a housewife in what ever country I'd lived in.

As for my age group, I have two friends who are getting married and they are in their mid 20s so that's not true. Besides, I don't think I said I want to move there and get married the next day.... I was merely asking about the possibility of it because I am going to be moving there for a long time (possibly for good but I'm not sure yet). But please give me some credit, I do believe in dating for a few years first. haha.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by Nyororin

Whether he feels special about it himself is up for debate - there is special treatment given to a man who has a foreign wife. Just like there is special treatment for women with foreign husbands.

Kind of like if a someone has a husband or wife who is/was a model or who is extremely attractive. The relationship may have absolutely nothing to do with that, but when other people (same gender friends in particular) hear about it - there is going to be a difference in the way they treat that person... and a different peer reaction if the friend cheats on their spouse.

That sums up what I was thinking.

I'll add that I'm speaking from observation on this. Men or women with a foreign spouse feel, act and are treated differently, in a special way.

Not saying it's good, but it's true. =/