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12-13-2010, 06:13 AM
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Your experiences with pictures and touching are hilarious lol, some of my younger students often ask to touch my arm-hair >< I asked you before, but you I'll say it again, are you prepared to fit the stereotypical housewife role that would be expected from you as a wife? For the very few black friends I have here in Japan, they all seem to agree on one thing, a massive relief of racial judgment and differentiation against white people, that when they came here they were suddenly aware of huge racial walls that were lifted. I don't want to turn this into a white/black prejudice issue of modern society, but as far as that goes it seems like all the black people I know in Japan are a lot happier here than they were back at home (my best friend is a black guy that lived in the same town as me back in Canada, and moved here after I came here, it's from him I'm getting most of this opinion). 
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12-13-2010, 06:27 AM
Yeah, I have you say that it was the first time I was looked at as just an American, with no color... it was nice... One of the reasons I like to go back actually. I didn't get a few more looks and stares than the other Americans but I don't take it personally. If I see someone like an Albino walk past me I stare, not to be mean, but because I don't see them everyday. They are interesting to me.
Like I said, I'm not sure how good I'd be at being a housewife (although women are starting to branch out of that role a little these days and work full time). But, as a novelist, I'd be in the house most of the time anyway to write and, with that, take care of what needs to be done at home. (I would probably have to get a part time job to get out of the house though, which isn't uncommon). Arm-Hair?! えええ？That's a new one. You totally win in the weird touch request contest. haha.  A New Face
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12-13-2010, 06:34 AM
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the worst part is they don't stop... and I had to you the "you get to touch my arm hair only if you finish your exercises!" hahaha
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12-13-2010, 06:51 AM
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A marriage is not like selling a car. It is a life-long relationship between not only two people, but two families. Eventually those "wrong reasons" are going to surface.
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12-13-2010, 07:01 AM
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It isn`t a language issue. It is a race issue. Language issues certainly don`t trigger "Think of what the children will have to deal with because they`re mixed!" I assure you my husband can`t speak English - he actively avoided it in school, opting for German instead - and that we have only ever spoke Japanese.... And I have only ever spoken Japanese to anyone around us. (I`m fluent, and have a "standard" accent, so no suspicion of poor language in there either). But that had nothing to do with the change in reactions when things changed from dating to getting married. ETA; To add my opinion on the differences in treatment toward black people in Japan. There seem to be more Africans here than African-Americans. I do not personally know any African-American women married to Japanese men, but do know of a few African women, and a (black) Brazilian women married to Japanese men. The stigma attached to specific race is mostly removed. There is no link in peoples minds to poverty, crime, etc. So while a person will be seen as "foreign" - it doesn`t carry much of a different meaning than all the other non-Asian foreigners. I know there is some level of caution given toward large black men, but the base of that is in a totally different place - the majority are in Japan employed as bouncers and for hostess bars to pull in (quite literally) customers with some intimidation. The African community in Japan is, from what I understand, quite strong and very outgoing and friendly. Thanks to them (at least around here), the first reaction people tend to have when encountering a black person - woman in particular - is an expectation of warmth and friendliness. But this isn`t all good, as if you probe people there is a deeply ingrained link to "darker color = southern islander / wild native = simple people"... Which while it may help in initial impressions and friendliness, it isn`t going to help if your goal is to work in something intellectual. I think that black women in Japan would probably get the same level of attention as a blonde, blue eyed white woman - just from a different set of people. There are plenty of people interested in rap and gangsta culture on one side, and African art and style on the other. Of course, these are going to be superficial relationships. Just dig through them and get to know normal people.
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12-13-2010, 07:04 AM
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If after a long time passes one of the family members decides to take a turn of opinion or show a bitter or uneducated side of themselves, well this kind of thing happens quite often in any family, intercultural or not. If after a few years of marriage I found out that her parents were mostly only ok with it because of the prestige they felt it would bring their business, I don't think I'd care so long as they didn't try to get between me and my spouse. All this is assuming the spouses reasons are in fact not superficial or socially biased.
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12-13-2010, 07:05 AM
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12-13-2010, 07:06 AM
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and wouldn't being a mixed kid be a bonus in today's society?
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12-13-2010, 07:10 AM
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12-13-2010, 07:15 AM
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At the high school I taught at kids weren't allowed to dye their hair. There were periodic "hair checks" to make sure their hair was black. If it wasn't they were separated from the rest of the grade in a public display. A couple kids had Filipino mothers and had to say in front of everyone they were mixed race, which is a hard thing to do. It was hard for the teachers to know what to do. Many kids pointed at my hair and said "His hair isn't black. Why does mine have to be?" Keep in mind that mixed race children are 80%+ mixed with other Asian races...Korean, Chinese, Filipino, and that is NOT considered a "bonus" by any means. They may have a harder time getting married, as they don't have a complete "family tree".
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