BRANCH: Careers and childraising

[GiannaR]

I personally plan to work until I have a child or children, and then stay at home to raise them, just because i see so much negligent of children these days, including even some of my friends. I've always had the expectancy of my husband to help around the house also because i saw it growing up, even if my father came home tired he would help clean the kitchen or something. I think anything women choose to do is personal preference, working and raising children is hard, and so is just working, or just raising the kids. It mainly comes down to what you enjoy doing in my opinion, like suki said, whatever makes you feel empowered or wanted and needed, and whether it be working or being a housewife, it's always important to be happy because it's your own life and youre the one living it.

[inuzuki8605]

There we go. Now we are starting to get on the right track of thinking. I agree with everything it's been said.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by GiannaR

I personally plan to work until I have a child or children, and then stay at home to raise them, just because i see so much negligent of children these days, including even some of my friends. I've always had the expectancy of my husband to help around the house also because i saw it growing up, even if my father came home tired he would help clean the kitchen or something. I think anything women choose to do is personal preference, working and raising children is hard, and so is just working, or just raising the kids. It mainly comes down to what you enjoy doing in my opinion, like suki said, whatever makes you feel empowered or wanted and needed, and whether it be working or being a housewife, it's always important to be happy because it's your own life and youre the one living it.

when we bring children into the world-- isn't it the most important job-- to give those children all the love and care in the world. TO me-- we have a responsibility towards our children--- and Being there for them-- especially when they are young-- Why bring them into the world then expect others to look after them-- so many parents HAVE to work to survive, so their children end up either in day care or nursery-- onwards-- ands scarcely know their own parents-- who are always in a hurry or rushing off to work.


children are precious-- and their future often hangs on the way they are brought up-------------


animals care for their young until they are ready to fly the nest.

Don' t have children unless you are prepared to do a parents job.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by Suki

If it's ok with you, I'll be the one to decide how to take care of my children, not you.

Anyway, if I'm lucky and I end up having the kind of job I'm after, I won't have to ever stop working and will be able to do it from home for a few months during maternity leave. But I do expect to have a husband who can stay home and look after our kid if my job demands me to be elsewhere at some point.

CRIKEY SUKI-- It seems its all about YOU and what you want. You have so many demands and expectations don't you.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by StonerPenguin

@ Suki
Yuko81 is male, I think his comment was meant to be a bit of a flirtatious joke, saying that he could be your house-hubby

Also, Suki, I know my comment about hating women in the previous thread irritated you, but I meant I dislike women who think they don't have to do anything for themselves (except have babies, whoo-de-freakin'-doo~ what effective human beings) because they posses vaginas D: It's funny that you said "you're chosing the lifestyle women have fought to get rid of for so long" because I actually came close to saying something like that in the previous thread. I occasionally become a 'woman-hating woman' when I feel like a lot of women share the share beliefs and aspirations of MP, it's like they ruin the good name of hard-working women everywhere! So I apologize for my previous comment, I was feeling aggravated at the women folk as I had a lady tell me how she nabbed her husband-- she lied to him and and said she was on birth control, got pregant then essentially forced him to marry her. Now, she's fat and lazy as hell and she's an AWFUL mother. When she told me this story it was hard to fight back the urge to yell "You're a fucking human leech!!" but I bottled that rage you guys (I'm so proud XD).

My faith in women has come back, I met some kickass women today and seeing how Suki's responses to MP are exactly what I would say is awesome. I completely agree with everything you said You saved me from typing RAGGGEEE comments since you said everything I was going to! You kickass bro. Glad to see I'm not the only woman who wants to have a career with a stay-at-home husband Woman like that seem to be pretty rare Don't give up your career if it's what you want to do.

It's nice to know I'm not the only one here who goes crazy over this kinda stuff And just for the record, I don't want a stay-at-home husband, I think having a baby means sharing responsabilities equally, I will stay at home if I have to, what I won't do is give up my career if it's a successful one, ever; that doesn't mean I want a husband who'll take care of everything regarding our child though, I wouldn't want that either.

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

CRIKEY SUKI-- It seems its all about YOU and what you want. You have so many demands and expectations don't you.

Yes it is about me and what I want since it's my life I'm living...

I am very clear on what my priorities are and I get to choose how to live my life by whatever principles I like; I believe it's good to be self-demanding and to have ambitions, it hurts no one and it's very rewarding when you reach them.

[File0]

Originally Posted by Suki

If it's ok with you, I'll be the one to decide how to take care of my children, not you.

Anyway, if I'm lucky and I end up having the kind of job I'm after, I won't have to ever stop working and will be able to do it from home for a few months during maternity leave. But I do expect to have a husband who can stay home and look after our kid if my job demands me to be elsewhere at some point.

Hi Suki!

Well, I guess, I was just having a rough day, not the first time, nor the last lol
Although I'm with @dogsbody70 on this, I can see your point too.
I hope you'll find someone who's man enough for you as well as a fine substitute mother when it's needed.

@StonerPenguin
I can see the world is changing and there are so many alternate family, I can't even think through all possibilities, you are absolutely right with your examples. In fact ten years ago I probably said similar things about women and men. I'm only saying what I'm now because having a family, kids, husband is different, and if I had to change my state for the sake of them, I gladly did, no matter how much I was a feminist or careerist before.
If you want to see kick-ass women, than look on those too who can stand against their own desires and do what's necessary when it is

[dogsbody70]

SUKI---

Its your life so as you say do as you want-- but never forget that children MATTER. I see the results of so many youngsters whose parents had to work all the time. Kids need guidance and to know love and security.


maybe because I never knew any of that as a child--- I feel hot over the collar about bringing children into the world. It is an enormous responsibility.


Yes but you were expecting your husband to stay at home if it suited YOU.

why should a man do that especially if he has a career.

Yes it should be a shared responsibility--- where possible-- otherwise best not to bring the children into the world in the first place if Career is all that matters.

Many women have a career and wait until they are in their forties before having children. Often they have problems-- and sometimes unable to have children at all.

marriage should always be a shared responsibility---

I personally would have hated other people to bring up my own children.

usually these days they go to day care-- nursery school and so on.never actually get to know their parents or vice versa

There are many unhappy young adults nowadays-- latchkey kids as we used to call them.

ANyway its your life but things change once a baby arrives. they are worth every minute spent with them and give so much pleasure.

good luck in the future. But life is not all about SELF

[MissMisa]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

SUKI---

Its your life so as you say do as you want-- but never forget that children MATTER. I see the results of so many youngsters whose parents had to work all the time. Kids need guidance and to know love and security.


maybe because I never knew any of that as a child--- I feel hot over the collar about bringing children into the world. It is an enormous responsibility.


Yes but you were expecting your husband to stay at home if it suited YOU.

why should a man do that especially if he has a career.

Yes it should be a shared responsibility--- where possible-- otherwise best not to bring the children into the world in the first place if Career is all that matters.

Many women have a career and wait until they are in their forties before having children. Often they have problems-- and sometimes unable to have children at all.

marriage should always be a shared responsibility---

I personally would have hated other people to bring up my own children.

usually these days they go to day care-- nursery school and so on.never actually get to know their parents or vice versa

There are many unhappy young adults nowadays-- latchkey kids as we used to call them.

ANyway its your life but things change once a baby arrives. they are worth every minute spent with them and give so much pleasure.

good luck in the future. But life is not all about SELF

Uhm, if Suki doesn't have children then children don't have to matter to her.

I don't want children, I don't particularly like dealing with children in general, so why does my priority have to be children?

I believe it's better to have a career and have children, because it teaches your children morals and gives them a good work ethic. It's possible to have a good balance. It doesn't have to be work OR children.

I only care about my career, I don't care about marriage or children. If that makes me selfish, then I'm selfish. But England is already overpopulated, so by not having children I'm doing it a favour.

[inuzuki8605]

I'm not sure you guys are even reading what Suki is writing. It's Kinda funny how you only see and get from her posts what you want to see. At what time did she say anything about "getting and Substitute Mother?" And who says that a man gets to keep his career and a woman doesn't. (which she JUST SAID she'd be able to work at home if need be and get time off). Are you just trying to find reasons to put her down for her beliefs or are you just not seeing what she is really writing. Maybe both?

My mom was a single parent and I assure you she worked her but off to make ends meet. But I never doubted the love she had for me because she worked. I admired the working woman and, even though I want children and vow to be the best mother I can be, I will work (although, being a writer I will work at home, traveling occasionally).

Whether to work or not after having kids is something that's up to the individual. But don't think for a minute that children raised by stay at home moms or dads always turn out better behaved or get into less trouble. No... That is not the way of it. Like I said before, women have died for the opportunity that is so easily thrown away by people who don't know how to do both (which can be done - I've seen it) or put men on this pedestal saying "why should a man do that especially if he has a career" REALLY? WHY NOT!? What about if the woman's career is more promising? What about if she makes more money? Why is she expected to give that up after suffering (happily I'm sure) through pregnancy and child birth and the man gets to just have fun living life and following his dream?

I understand about not wanting others to take of your child (My mother always said, "No one can take care of my baby like me) and I'm all for that. A firm believer. But the days of inequality are over. Women have just as much right to follow there dreams if that is their wish.

[StonerPenguin]

LOL Why is Suki being chastized for neglecting hypothetical children? XD
"Yes but you were expecting your husband to stay at home if it suited YOU.

why should a man do that especially if he has a career."
Uh, why should a woman stay home (especially if she has a career)? I find it a little ironic Suki is being called selfish for wanting to pursue a career to the best of her ability (heck, she's a university student, she's SUPPOSED to be thinking about a career-- college it too expensive to give up midway...) and yet MP, who wants to have a child so she can mooch off some guy and spend his money on handbags, isn't selfish!? What the hell?

My mom didn't force my dad to give up his career, my mom's career was just more promising than my father's (haha, my mom is so much smarter than my dad it's not funny ). It was a decision they made together as partners. So yeah, I could see that if my husband's career was WAY better than mine I might give it up (though I doubt I'll find a guy like that, as soon as I graduate I've got an awesome job lined up for me-- I don't think I could find much better )

@ Miss Misa
I agree 1000% The only problem is stupid people have more children and at younger ages than smart people. D: Ever see the film "Idiocracy"? As a smart lady, you should maybe donate your ovaries to science! (jk jk)

Edit;
@ Inuzuki
Eloquently said! Very true. (I'm getting a huge kick out of this discussion-- no matter how off topic it may be! )