BRANCH: Careers and childraising

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

'According to your experience' does not equal fact. To assume that men are worse that looking after children is also pretty sexist.



Your views are old fashioned.

I have to laugh at being old fashioned. In my case-- definitely. Many men do look after their children-----------

[Suki]

Originally Posted by GiannaR

I think it just depends on the person raising the child, I think suki will probably raise great, strong children, just from my impression of her through her posts. whether she's working or not, like someone else stated, balance is possible

Thank you!

Originally Posted by File0

What are you talking about?????

Why am I sexist? Because I have different life-experiences. uh wait! you haven't really got any in this, so that makes you what exactly? -shortsighted and narrow-minded?
But it's OK I guess, because as long as you speak about how equality is important you can say anything alongside with it, it doesn't really matter if you mark and frown others --- but how exactly is that equality?
With this you overshoot your own mark...

I said I understand you, what's wrong with you?!

It's the impression I get from certain opinions. I didn't mean you specifically.

Believing that women should not put their career before children is sexist. No one expects a man to quit working after he has children, why is this expected from women? This pisses me off.

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

marriage should be mutual-- sharing. not one dominate over the other but SHARE.

No one said otherwise, geez.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Where did I say that it shouldn't?

Marriage SHOULD be mutual, it should be a two sided thing. The women shouldn't have to stay at home if she doesn't want to, nor should the man. There should be compromise and balance.

The views of the older people on this forum worry me way more than other younger members do.

Mmm Misa-- Why is that? do you think they do not have YOUR INSIGHT OR YOUR EXPERIENCE.

EXPERience teaches us many things. We all make mistakes all through our lives. THe idea is to actually Learn from them.

Of course younger members will have similar views


anyway life is ajourney which we have to travel in the best way that we can.


we have to consider other people apart from ourselves.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Where did I say that it shouldn't?

Marriage SHOULD be mutual, it should be a two sided thing. The women shouldn't have to stay at home if she doesn't want to, nor should the man. There should be compromise and balance.

The views of the older people on this forum worry me way more than other younger members do.

So what happens if neither of them want to stay at HOME? Employ A NANNY? an AU PAIR-- Send them to day care from about six weeks of age--

Or even expect grand parents to look after the child which does happen a lot-- but that is also expecting a lot.

[File0]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

'According to your experience' does not equal fact. To assume that men are worse that looking after children is also pretty sexist.

Your views are old fashioned.

Thanks.

Well just for the record, I'd had this thought of never having a baby ever in my life, about ten years ago, I thought I'd adopt children if I must answer my 'social duties' (inner needs I mean), but in time I changed, my family won't be too big though ever, but still now I have one...
When you chose your partner you even look into his mouth if his teeth are healthy or you just love someone because of you don't even know why?
I just love my partner and yes I'm the one who makes the dinner and look after the child mostly... what's wrong with it?
And I know my experiences won't make rules - that's why I said my experiences!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MissMisa]

Lol, if neither of them want to look after a kid, then they shouldn't have had a kid in the first place.

There is nothing wrong with looking after the child if you WANT to look after it.

I really have no idea what you two are going on about besides that, you seem to have random rants about stuff that nobody has even said so... I'll leave you to it

[dogsbody70]

It is a fact of life that couples usually have to work to pay mortgages etc etc.

[dogsbody70]

Originally Posted by MissMisa

Lol, if neither of them want to look after a kid, then they shouldn't have had a kid in the first place.

There is nothing wrong with looking after the child if you WANT to look after it.

I really have no idea what you two are going on about besides that, you seem to have random rants about stuff that nobody has even said so... I'll leave you to it

I suggest you read back. cheerio Dear Misa--have a good life.

[Suki]

Originally Posted by dogsbody70

So what happens if neither of them want to stay at HOME? Employ A NANNY? an AU PAIR-- Send them to day care from about six weeks of age--

Or even expect grand parents to look after the child which does happen a lot-- but that is also expecting a lot.

What is wrong with that? I had a nanny who'd come by our house early in the morning, wake me up, have me dressed and take me to school, then come pick me up at school and take me home, and then leave after my parents got home. I didn't think of her as an stranger taking care of me cause my parents didn't love me enough or something. She was sweet and I liked having her around. No trauma.

And day care is just fine. They are well-attended and get to play around with other kids, probably having more fun than they would if they were home with their mommy, with whom they get to spend time later in the day, so I don't see what the big deal is, really.

[RobinMask]

Originally Posted by Suki

And day care is just fine. They are well-attended and get to play around with other kids, probably having more fun than they would if they were home with their mommy, with whom they get to spend time later in the day, so I don't see what the big deal is, really.

I have to say I totally agree with you. I actually did psychology back in college, and one of the studies on childcare actually came to the conclusion that daycare is beneficial for children, precisely for the reasons you stated. Daycare helps children to socialise, empathise, commuinicate, and build skills such as teamwork with their peers. I actually think spending the entire time with one parent can be deteremental to a child, because it misses out on valuable experiences, it doesn't learn how to deal with strangers or its peers or other figures of authority.

Quote from Dogsbody70

So what happens if neither of them want to stay at HOME? Employ A NANNY? an AU PAIR-- Send them to day care from about six weeks of age--

Or even expect grand parents to look after the child which does happen a lot-- but that is also expecting a lot.

I dislike how you imply there's anything wrong with any of these. You've said in this thread and in others that both parents often need to work nowadays to pay for mortgages, bills etc. so if only a parent can stay at home to raise a child, then what? It's a failed logic in my opinion. . . In any case, like I said, I think nannies and daycare are fine ideas.

I also think it's good for grandparents to help raise the children when they can too. My aunt helped to raise her grandchildren; she was in her forties/fifties, very healthy, adored children, and had the time and facilities to watch them and supervise them. In this case is it better to give the child to a 'stranger' (which you seem against), or to give it to a loving and caring relative who can give the children one-on-one attention and give it the eductation/parenting techniques that the parent wishes?

It's nice for a parent to be at home, whether male or female, but I don't think it's necessary . . . not if the child is in a loving, nurturing environment with a responsible adult anyway.