Which Japanese Female Problem Have You Experienced?

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

Sorry I wasn't clear I think the source would be enough. This is ONLY Japan.

Thanks, from mhlw.go.jp? I'm having a difficult time navigating that site to find info lol, but I do like seeing hard numbers!

edit; check this out

http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/youran/aramashi/kekkon.pdf

I'm quite surprised to see how fewer and fewer people are living together before marriage, I would have assumed the number was increasing!

Edit 2
http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/youran/...i/syusyoku.pdf

check that out!
my god... women consistently get less money than men starting immediately at the start of employment, and it is not getting better, and then check the graph in the bottom left, men in any company size get more money than women ... consistently with no relative changes

hard facts from Japanese statistics

[MMM]

Originally Posted by RealJames

Thanks, from mhlw.go.jp? I'm having a difficult time navigating that site to find info lol, but I do like seeing hard numbers!

edit; check this out

http://www.mhlw.go.jp/toukei/youran/aramashi/kekkon.pdf

I'm quite surprised to see how fewer and fewer people are living together before marriage, I would have assumed the number was increasing!

It's from here:

Statistics Bureau Home Page/Chapter 2 Population

Looks like we are seeing the same numbers.

If the mean age is around 28.6 or 28.8 for women to get married that means half the women get married below this age, and half marry above this age (for the first time). Since that well is over three years above the magic "25" number. This means a majority (and dare I say, a large majority, as the mean age isn't 25.3) are marrying after the age of 25.

So despite the idea that women over the age of 25 are too old and unmarryable, that's how the MAJORITY of modern society does it. Therefore it is safe to say that the notion that if you are not married by 25 you are a "Christmas cake" or are an old maid is outdated. Some may still think so, but that is a not the modern generation.

I can find you people that think women shouldn't be able to vote and drive, but that doesn't mean they are part of the majority and aren't a dying breed.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

It's from here:

Statistics Bureau Home Page/Chapter 2 Population

Looks like we are seeing the same numbers.

If the mean age is around 28.6 or 28.8 for women to get married that means half the women get married below this age, and half marry above this age (for the first time). Since that well is over three years above the magic "25" number. This means a majority (and dare I say, a large majority, as the mean age isn't 25.3) are marrying after the age of 25.

So despite the idea that women over the age of 25 are too old and unmarryable, that's how the MAJORITY of modern society does it. Therefore it is safe to say that the notion that if you are not married by 25 you are a "Christmas cake" or are an old maid is outdated. Some may still think so, but that is a not the modern generation.

I can find you people that think women shouldn't be able to vote and drive, but that doesn't mean they are part of the majority and aren't a dying breed.

for sure, the numbers don't lie, the trends are quite interesting too

check out my 2nd edit, I'm so happy I finally found data to back up the massive inequality of men and women in the work force and how it's not changing either

even part time men get more than part time women, which means that part time employment due to raising children can't be used as a counter argument to lower female wages

[MMM]

So why are women electing to use their education and work longer before settling down and getting married/raise a family?

[steven]

This is based off of what I've seen, but I notice that regardless of whether or not a woman waits to get married, once they have a baby they usually take about a year off of work. Then they might choose not to keep their job. Then they get a part time job with hours that comply with raising a kid (so they don't start too early and don't end too late).

I mean, I don't live in a big city so I don't get to see the Japan that most people do, but that seems to be the way things go around here. Even if they have a very decent job, once they have a kid they are very likely to just quit and focus on their child.

However, that's not to say that is the rule. I've seen plenty of examples of women who are married/have kids and still work very hard. However, with less multi-generation families and the way taxes work, as far as I've heard it can been more economical to have a part time job when you have a kid than to have a full-blown day job. Also, even if your part time job salary gets past a certain amount then I've heard you don't qualify for certain tax benefits. So I've heard of situations where salaries are kept low to qualify for those breaks... otherwise a slight salary increase would actually mean less money.

Some other posters on here are more familiar with what I am talking about than I am so hopefully they can clear things up. I suspect that might have a little bit to do with what we are talking about though. At least it's something to think about.

As far as calling that inequality goes... I personally think that it balances out (although not entirely) to a nice degree. I'm a guy and not born in Japan though, so take that as you will. If you have the ability ask some Japanese people about it to get a feel of how they think about it.

[RealJames]

Originally Posted by MMM

So why are women electing to use their education and work longer before settling down and getting married/raise a family?

As cliche as this sounds, commercialism/materialism is what I largely attribute it to, despite earning less than their male counterparts it's still more than the alternative.

Edit:
I just finished a 1hr lesson with a group of 4 women, they said they prefer to get married later because they want to move back into their parents house after uni (or stay there) so they don't have to start cooking and doing housework every day, and also because they want to enjoy their life before they have a kid by shopping and going on trips abroad.

[steven]

Check out these statistics. I love this man's blog by the way-- I think it will contribute to the way this thread is going immensely. Please make sure to check the dates on which these were posted. There is a search feature on the far left side of the blog so you can search for other questions you might have. Always check the demographics. I think this data is more accurate than just giving our opinions as it represents a more complete opinion. As far as I've seen there is no regional separation... so there is no way of knowing where this data comes from other than the fact that it comes from Japan.

Working Japanese women and stress | 世論 What Japan Thinks

Working mothers in Japan | 世論 What Japan Thinks

Endemic discrimination against Japanese women: part 1 of 2 | 世論 What Japan Thinks

Housework styles of Japanese women | 世論 What Japan Thinks

(Check out part 2 and 3 as well)
Young Japanese views on marriage, children and divorce: part 1 of 3 | 世論 What Japan Thinks

Two in five of Japanese male employees feel no female disparity | 世論 What Japan Thinks

A gender-equal society in Japan: part 1 of 2 | 世論 What Japan Thinks

Sexual equality in society still far off: part 1 of 2 | 世論 What Japan Thinks

[spicytuna]

Originally Posted by MMM

I would advise non-Japanese to avoid dating people that only (want to) date non-Japanese as much as I would advise Japanese to avoid people that only (want to) date Japanese.

That is a very good point.

[RickOShay]

I have dated a total of 8 Japanese women (that is not counting relationships that were less than 1 month, or ones that were not clearly defined as what they were). The problem with your generalizations is, well just that, they are generalizations. Are anyone of these things common through all the girls you have dated or your friends have? I sure as hell cannot find one, and I am hard pressed to find one that even applies at all, to any of the girls I have dated. So that says to me that these cannot be applied only to how Japanese women act because there are sure to be women all over the world who exhibit these traits (as individuals, not as well defined cultural norm).

Anyhow lets just go through this list and see....

Originally Posted by jack10110

I have dealt with all kinds of Japanese women trouble/quirkiness over the 9 years in Japan, so I thought why not make a list and compare issues. For those in despair I bet you will realize many of us have at least 2 or more of the same problems below: (Add more to the list if you like!)

1. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife get angry on a whim/out of the blue? (example: You didn't like an udon noodle and now you have done it! She wants you dead, your friends dead, family dead, in hell, and says your bald and old even though your only 24 years old!)

Never dated any J-girl who exhibited this behavior, sounds like someone who needs to get back on their meds is all.

Originally Posted by jack10110

2. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife call you dirty? Does she act as if she doesn't want to be with you? (example: You took a shower, got a haircut, sprayed your extremely small Japanese container of axe on yourself, and your still treated as if someone barfed up silver dollar pancakes at Dennys.)

Again, nope.

Originally Posted by jack10110

3.Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife work too much OR doesn't work at all? (example: There is no middle road here. Either she has that yamatodamashi spirit to work all day, or she just works quits, work quits and puts the burden on numero uno..you!)

Every girl I dated had a regular job, or was a college student, and had a normal balanced attitude towards work and play time.

Originally Posted by jack10110

4. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife not clean up after herself? (example: She eats junk food, uses tissues to blow her nose, and whatever she touches, she just leaves it on the floor FOR YOU TO PICK UP after work!)

Hell, no. Why would any guy put with dating such a slob. Isn't this usually the other way around anyway.. I think this generalization might work better for Japanese guys though.. or most any guys I guess.

Originally Posted by jack10110

5. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife require 1000 apologies? (example: She went to school, was stung by a bee, and it's your fault! The world now comes to a screeching halt until you apologies again and again again and again.)

No, and your example here is really stupid and illustrates nothing, because it is poorly exaggerated.

Originally Posted by jack10110

6. Is your Japanese girlfriend/wife a little too happy, (seems to speak of marriage a little too easily), and then a second later is incredibly angry and wants you dead....then happy again? (example: If doctors in Japan diagnosed Schizophrenia shed be on the meds!)

No. What are you even saying here..? all Japanese women act so ridiculous it's like they have Schizophrenia? Again.. retarded.

Originally Posted by jack10110

7. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife always think she's sick and dying? (example: health nut. Reads too many articles online, thinks the fan at night will kill her, the blood from her period is cancer, if you cough at night, she gets angry etc. etc. etc.)

No, and the only one I will give you here is the thing about the fan at night. But I never heard it from a girlfriend, just a Japanese dude friend of mine's mom.

Originally Posted by jack10110

8. Is your Japanese girlfriend/wife loosing hair due to stress? (example: This one could be seasonal, and sometimes it's made up in their minds, but if it does happen, it's certainly the gaijins different values to blame for this one!)

What?

Originally Posted by jack10110

9. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife become quiet and sulks in the corner of the room for hours? Days?(example: not needed!)

Sorry, no again.

Originally Posted by jack10110

10. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife run out side at night (when angry) pretending to never come back, but in reality she's hiding, waiting for you to find her and resolve the issue? (example: When mommies were mad in the Edo Period they would run to nearby shrines at night to consult other women. In present day, they just don't answer their keitai, and count the seconds it takes you to find them (because it's dangerous at night.)

Wow, this one is really dumb.

Originally Posted by jack10110

11. Can your Japanese girlfriend/wife actually eat food with artificial colors and preservatives? (example: Take her to an American supermarket, and see what she DOESN'T buy!)

Yes, she can.

Originally Posted by jack10110

12. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife live with her mother? (example: Now you live with the mother in law, and it's as if your dating both of them....and I mean that in the worst way possible.)

Ahh. Now this is common. But the whole dating the mom thing... no. And sorry but I am pretty sure mother-in-laws have a bad rep anywhere on earth.

Originally Posted by jack10110

13. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife say "we can live in your country for 5 years but then we come back to Japan." (example: Recent statistics ?citation need? show that the youth (35 years old and younger) want to visit foreign countries but not actually live there anymore. France is too dangerous right?)

No.

Originally Posted by jack10110

14. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife treat you differently than a Japanese boyfriend/husband? (example: She creates rules, and ridged structure so you can't have fun just because you're a gaijin! She wants you to be the Prince Charming from a Disney flick, but without the Euro trash...even though you are American!)

No, and how would you even observe this?

Originally Posted by jack10110

15. Is your Japanese girlfriend/wife indecisive? Does it take her forever to choose something? Or does she buy it without thinking and regrets it? (example: Its Confucius says! He never said to think on your own! Therefore after all those years in school, your girlfriend still makes some rather bad decisions due to lack of this crucial skill. And this can be a time consuming issue too!)

I will give you this one to some extent, mostly when it comes to frivolous things. Your example is condescending and not funny though.

Originally Posted by jack10110

16. Can you talk rationally to your Japanese girlfriend/wife? (example: you understand Japanese, she understands your language, but without taking out teddy bears, while listening to children music, you can't have a heart to heart talk over IMPORTANT issues.)

Yes, I can talk rationally with her/them.

Originally Posted by jack10110

17. To initiate 'change/fix the problem', YOU have to take things to the extreme (verge of divorce/breakup) with your Japanese girlfriend/wife? (example: Stagnation has trickled down from Japans economy to the roots of your relationship, and you have to go Hanshin earthquake magnitude 10.0, shindo 9 on her butt in order to get a little change! SHE apologies, promises not to act that way again...but...a week/month/year later its back to the same problems... Like I always said you can't polish a turd! Oh wait Myth Busters says the Japanese figured out a way...It is called darudango! <-this was an insensitive comment. I am truly sorry, so do not take it personally fellow readers!)

Again no.

Originally Posted by jack10110

18. Can you have a political discussion about World War 2/whales/dolphins/The cove the movie/Yasukuni Shrine/Kidnapped children in Japan/BSE in actual Japanese cows/excessive amount of fat in Japanese meat/Japans poor housing/Japans elite universities not even on the top 10 best universities in the world list/Burakumin - Japanese ignored segregated class/ important laws that the government doesn't enforce....with your Japanese girl friend/wife? (This one is for some organic SEO in google, but it's still an legitimate issue...) (example: She doesn't know the facts, she wasn't taught the facts, so you try to discuss these issues and it causes a fight. Remember "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil!")

Yes, and mostly never really bring it up. And it was a normal discussion for those that I did bring it up with.

Originally Posted by jack10110

19. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife always want to go on vacation somewhere? (example: Hawaii, Guam 1 day-2 weeks -2 months, and She will go even if you can't!)

Yes, and no. But how is this even supposed to be exclusive to Japanese women?

Originally Posted by jack10110

20. Does your Japanese girlfriend/wife seem a little childish? (example: Cry, hit her feet on the ground, when she can't have it her way..Ohhh to be 7 years old again!)

Childish how? Like in an annoying way that is totally uncalled for, or in a cute way?

Anyhow there you go. I really do not agree with the majority of this, as it is a bunch of generalizations that really don't hold any water, and the examples are just silly, stupid or rude.

[Columbine]

Originally Posted by RickOShay

So that says to me that these cannot be applied only to how Japanese women act because there are sure to be women all over the world who exhibit these traits (as individuals, not as well defined cultural norm).

Anyhow lets just go through this list and see....

This is the only one that makes any sense to me... (example: You took a shower, got a haircut, sprayed your extremely small Japanese container of axe on yourself, and your still treated as if someone barfed up silver dollar pancakes at Dennys.)

... because I'd avoid someone who used axe/lynx as well. Seriously axe-boys, that stuff is like the body-spray equivalent of rolling in badger dung. You, like my dog, think it's the most amazing cologne ever; I, like not a few girls, find it gag-inducing and have to suppress an urge to find a garden hose asap. Please stop using it.

The whole list is pretty much dumb and offensive and misrepresentative.