Do older single Japanese women need to date foreigners to get married?

lsearchl · (#1 (**permalink**))

I know a Japanese woman who is 37 years old and very aggressively pursues younger (20s) foreign/white/gaijin men in Tokyo. She is really into the Israel psytrance scene. I doubt she is truthful about her age but the wear is starting to show since she's been in that party/hostess life since her teens. What are her chances of getting married? Is she into foreigners because it is believed they are more liberal and accepting than Japanese men? Also she is already divorced, having married a foreigner who was 10 years younger than her when she was 28 for a visa. YES he was 18 at that time and no doubt the marriage failed within months. Anyways, she seems to have a couple friends also her age, in the same boat, all of them crazy about foreigners... I wonder what your average Japanese person would think of her?

MMM · (#2 (**permalink**))

What do YOU think of her?

lsearchl · (#3 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

What do YOU think of her?

well i'd say overall she's not what you'd call a good "Catch" anywhere but that doesn't answer my question about how someone like that would be viewed IN JAPAN.

MMM · (#4 (**permalink**))

If she is a snack hostess, then she can probably get married if she wants to. Is she what most parents envision as the bride they want their son to marry? I think you know the answer to that question.
You should ask her why she is into foreigners. Maybe she likes speaking English, or maybe she is looking for an oil baron to whisk her away... only she knows for sure.

You seem rather judgmental about this woman's past, and I am curious why you want to hang her dirty laundry out here.

lsearchl · (#5 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by MMM

If she is a snack hostess, then she can probably get married if she wants to. Is she what most parents envision as the bride they want their son to marry? I think you know the answer to that question.
You should ask her why she is into foreigners. Maybe she likes speaking English, or maybe she is looking for an oil baron to whisk her away... only she knows for sure.

You seem rather judgmental about this woman's past, and I am curious why you want to hang her dirty laundry out here.

Well, I guess I've been called out. She stalked me for about three years relentlessly. Even after I left Japan she called my former office and they had to threaten her with calling the police. And no, we were never in a relationship. In a way, her behavior has always haunted me and admittedly colored my view of Japanese women. But like I said, according to mutual acquaintances she remains obsessed with getting a foreign husband.

tokusatsufan · (#6 (**permalink**))

I think I'll have a limit of up to 27. I won't have anyone older than that. Except there was a woman in Shinjuku who had just turned 30 and she still looked good. She quite obviously fancied me but mum was there so nothing happened!

Basically it all depends on the person. That woman that you described does sound insane.

Nyororin · (#7 (**permalink**))

I don`t really think it`s the age that is the problem as much as the weird obsessive and desperate chasing of some subset of men.

I`m sure most people in Japan - men and women - would think that the behavior was sick, pathetic, and on the crazy side. It isn`t normal behavior, for certain.

Quote:

I think I'll have a limit of up to 27. I won't have anyone older than that. Except there was a woman in Shinjuku who had just turned 30 and she still looked good. She quite obviously fancied me but mum was there so nothing happened!

I`d just stay away from the ones that will chase after you because you`re not Japanese. It`s a small percentage of Japanese women, but they tend to fill the gaijin bars. And they`re about as serious about a relationship as you can imagine women who will sleep with any non-Japanese guy who turns their way can be.
But I guess there are enough foreign guys who think it`s just the greatest thing ever that there are free sluts for the taking that they can keep up the lifestyle... until they`re too old to pick up even the uglier most desperate gaijin guys. That`s when they start going insane and obsessive with trying to marry one of them.

You can see the same thing with bar-hopping party girls the world over. Once they get past the age that lets them pick and choose, they start to panic and try to snab any guy they can get.

Don`t pick up girls in those kinds of places, and you should be able to have normal relationships with women who aren`t mental cases.

tokusatsufan · (#8 (**permalink**))

Yeah I will be sensible.

myk · (#9 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by lsearchl

Well, I guess I've been called out. She stalked me for about three years relentlessly. Even after I left Japan she called my former office and they had to threaten her with calling the police. And no, we were never in a relationship. In a way, her behavior has always haunted me and admittedly colored my view of Japanese women. But like I said, according to mutual acquaintances she remains obsessed with getting a foreign husband.

There are women like that everywhere.

MMM · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by lsearchl

Well, I guess I've been called out. She stalked me for about three years relentlessly. Even after I left Japan she called my former office and they had to threaten her with calling the police. And no, we were never in a relationship. In a way, her behavior has always haunted me and admittedly colored my view of Japanese women. But like I said, according to mutual acquaintances she remains obsessed with getting a foreign husband.

The answer to the question in the title of this post is, no. And most people, Japanese or not, would react the same way as you to the woman you describe. She sounds nuts.