Totally Confused

[NanteNa]

He sounds like he wants to get laid. O_x

[godwine]

Originally Posted by NanteNa

He sounds like he wants to get laid. O_x

"Sounds like" would have been an understatement....

[japan1234567]

Originally Posted by SarahChan

K, maybe this forum is full of white people instead of Japanese guys who can give me a more accurate answer, but I figure I'll ask anyway and see what happens.

Here goes, I just started dating a Japanese guy from Nagoya. My best friend Mitsuko was born and raised in Japan and says that Japanese men are conservative when it comes to affection. They don't kiss on the first date, they don't like PDA, and they are just generally not pushy when it comes to affection. However, this guy initiated the first kiss. Made out with me on the first date. And wanted to take things further until I told him I wouldn't go further without more of a commitment (i.e. we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend). So now we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

There's one thing weighing in the back of my mind though. Mitsuko also told me that most Asian men tend to see white girls as being "easy" and just want to use them for sex. With this guy pushing to go farther and farther I worry if he's just using me or if he genuinely likes me? Is it normal for a Japanese guy to be so affectionate and liberal? He told his mom and dad back in Nagoya about me already. They're both supportive but told him to take things slow and not rush in. However he seems to want to rush in.

I'm totally confused.

...Well! Once a Japanese friend told me the opposite way to Mitsuko comment! She told me if a Japanese girl kisses a Japanese guy for the first time, he will quickly fall in love and will already expect a serious relationship. But it's no good to generalize. Fortunately everybody is different and particular.

But I'd believe Mitsuko has a reason to tell you that! I think you don't tell us everything. Some information are missing, like age differences between you and him, financial situation, education level and so on...
I'm sorry.

...Maybe you should better understand Mitsuko. She could see more things in the eyes of that guy! So instead of telling you your guy, she preferred to say Asian men for not being direct! It's like saying White men and not the specefic person etc.

Mitsuko is really worriyng about you.

[OsakaBlue]

1. How old are you?
2. How old is he?
3. Where did the two of you meet?
4. What are both of your experiences? (ie; are you his first gf)
5. How long did the two of you date before you officially became his gf?

[Pogopuschel]

Guys are all the same, Japanese or not. What your friend says may have been true several generations ago (not even then I would guess). To me it sounds like he just wants to have fun. The fact that he is Japanese doesn't change anything, he could as well have been American/European/Asian and your situation would be the same. Just treat him like a guy from your home country. Japanese guys are not anymore conservative, trust me. They may be shy, but not conservative.

M: "Let's do it"
F: "Noooo, not before we're boyfriend and girlfriend!!"
M: "Why??"
F: "(Insert long text)"
M: "Ahh...ohh... okay, let's be bf/gf then"
M/F: "Alright, let's do it"

[ppl]

I think it is normal.

[NanteNa]

Originally Posted by SarahChan

wanted to take things further until I told him I wouldn't go further without more of a commitment (i.e. we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend). So now we're officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

You just pretty much answered your own question. You didn't want to take it further without a commitment, he gave you the commitment. Duh.